Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
1.06.2013
counseling vs. ministry
i think there's a difference between "ministers" and "counselors." most, if not all, ministers are counselors, but not all counselors are ministers.
depending on your point of view, yes, counseling IS a ministry, i.e., all uses of your gifts ultimately acting in service to God/dess. but i feel more grounded in the concept of someone finding me when they're ready to begin a process, guiding them through, then letting them fly...wash, rinse, repeat.
i do not have a passion for "gathering a flock" and seeing them through the various stages of their lives. my communal needs revolve more around friends, family and like-minded acquaintances. it feeds my spirit to be able to draw those people from a variety of sources.
full throttle community-based work requires a different level and type of energy than one-on-one healing, conducting classes/workshops, and writing books. as much as i respect those that do the former, i'm realizing that my strengths rest in the latter.
this is not new...more like the reemergence of an old calling empowered by new information.
when i had to think about a "day job," counseling was the only non-creative field that interested me. the bad news was i majored in psychology instead of social work; i didn't know that a MSW would have given me the foundation for the kind of work i really wanted to do. my vision of a "social worker" was a paper pushing government employee infringing upon the lives of poor folks. not my cup of tea.
psychology didn't hit the spot, either. i was not thrilled by statistics, research or the workings of the brain--although that stuff had its moments. i've always had academic talent, but an academic career would have driven me insane. i didn't want to write papers, think thoughts (exclusively), or have an alphabet behind my name--i wanted to help people.
now that i've met several awesome MSWs doing great things, i'm more open to the possibilities. considering my other training, i could even do my thing with a counseling certification.
this is the vision i want to hold on to.
one step closer to figuring out this thing called my life.
give thanks.
11.16.2012
prayers for Palestine
last night, i went to a rally/vigil at the white house convened to draw attention to the latest developments in Gaza. a friend told me about the IDF's twitter and tumblr pages, and i was horrified.*
what does waging a "real-time" war solve, or prove? how does that honor the soldiers, or the innocents that continue to suffer as "collateral damage" in these conflicts? yes, the Palestinians have rockets. but Israel has rockets, tanks, helicopters, fighter planes, soldiers...
it was the typical scene: a group of pro-Palestinian folks on one side, a small, portable fence in front of them, police, then pro-Israel folks on the other side of the police line, closest to the white house. there were chants from both sides, with the pro-Israel group incorporating singing and circle dancing.
eventually, someone handed out candles. an organizer said to gather in a circle and turn our backs to the pro-Israel group so as not to engage them. that worked for awhile...then the chanting began again.
at one point they asked anyone who had a candle to move to the front, near the fence. there were a few moments of silence to recognize those lost...then the shouts began again.
i actually went with the intent to pray, not shout. the whole time, i scanned both groups, trying to get a feel for what was happening beneath the surface.
anger.
grief.
reunions of friends and colleagues.
the need to be "right" overriding the reality of human suffering.
expressions of affection.
navel gazing.
tension between well-meaning whitefolks and embedded, invested folks of color.
elation when a lone drummer began punctuating the pro-Palestine chants.
i noticed my candle and several others were particularly luminous: clearly marked halos surrounding the flames, accented by evenly spaced rays of light. a sign of comfort, compassion, grace; the light of the Mother's presence.
as my candle burned out, i moved back to the outskirts of the crowd. the pro-Israel group took their leave, evoking a cheer from the pro-Palestinian folks. when the police removed the barrier, they took over the sidewalk nearer the white house.
as i moved back, i noticed a young brother sitting on the ground, dressed mostly in khaki and wrapped in a keffiyeh. something told me to stand next to him. when he looked up, i asked if he was all right.
"yes. i'm just praying."
i nodded.
after a moment, i blessed some water, poured a libation and sat a few feet to his left to continue the prayers i'd started at the fence:
before i could catch myself, i blurted out, "they always listen, honey." immediately i knew that had come through me, not from me.
then, he surprised me. "thank you for praying with me. you have a very calming energy."
i smiled. "it's what i do." i extended my hand, which seemed to be my surprise to him. "take care," i said. he shook it. i noticed his eyes were a translucent brown...a little sad, but very kind. and crystal clear. he was still sitting on the ground when i left.
as i walked away--suddenly aware that i was freezing--a perfect little leaf blew down from a tree and landed directly in my path. so directly, in fact, that i stopped to pick it up.
in that moment, i remembered the Ancestors' connection to the white house and the land around it.
they always listen.
*i'm not linking to the pages because i don't want to give them any more traffic. they can easily be googled if you're interested. the IDF's tone is horrifying--it's as if they're simply playing a video game where stuff gets blown up. that staggering level of arrogance dishonors their forces in harm's way and those fighting and dying on the other side.
what does waging a "real-time" war solve, or prove? how does that honor the soldiers, or the innocents that continue to suffer as "collateral damage" in these conflicts? yes, the Palestinians have rockets. but Israel has rockets, tanks, helicopters, fighter planes, soldiers...
it was the typical scene: a group of pro-Palestinian folks on one side, a small, portable fence in front of them, police, then pro-Israel folks on the other side of the police line, closest to the white house. there were chants from both sides, with the pro-Israel group incorporating singing and circle dancing.
eventually, someone handed out candles. an organizer said to gather in a circle and turn our backs to the pro-Israel group so as not to engage them. that worked for awhile...then the chanting began again.
at one point they asked anyone who had a candle to move to the front, near the fence. there were a few moments of silence to recognize those lost...then the shouts began again.
i actually went with the intent to pray, not shout. the whole time, i scanned both groups, trying to get a feel for what was happening beneath the surface.
anger.
grief.
reunions of friends and colleagues.
the need to be "right" overriding the reality of human suffering.
expressions of affection.
navel gazing.
tension between well-meaning whitefolks and embedded, invested folks of color.
elation when a lone drummer began punctuating the pro-Palestine chants.
i noticed my candle and several others were particularly luminous: clearly marked halos surrounding the flames, accented by evenly spaced rays of light. a sign of comfort, compassion, grace; the light of the Mother's presence.
as my candle burned out, i moved back to the outskirts of the crowd. the pro-Israel group took their leave, evoking a cheer from the pro-Palestinian folks. when the police removed the barrier, they took over the sidewalk nearer the white house.
as i moved back, i noticed a young brother sitting on the ground, dressed mostly in khaki and wrapped in a keffiyeh. something told me to stand next to him. when he looked up, i asked if he was all right.
"yes. i'm just praying."
i nodded.
after a moment, i blessed some water, poured a libation and sat a few feet to his left to continue the prayers i'd started at the fence:
- for the mothers of the lost children.
- for souls to reach the Light.
- for the power to act from courage and love, not reactionary fear or anger.
- for the space to grieve, and for that grief to be honored.
- for those who could not freely shout as we did here.
- for the understanding that true protection doesn't have to mean denying life to someone else--especially those who are not directly engaged in battle.
- for our love and our voices to reach those under siege, right at that moment, and in the days to come.
- for the young Jewish man who shouted, "you are not upholding the Torah."
- for the Palestinian / Middle Eastern women present...in hijab and unveiled, the children they brought. i knew that they, especially, held space for those who could not speak or witness for themselves.
- for all those fighting for freedom and self determination around the world.
- for everyone present to reach home safely.
- for the energy of the Mother / Divine Feminine to cover us. to help us see that we are all human beings, under the same sun, seeking food, warmth, and life just like everything else...and understanding the deep affront that occurs when any of us willfully denies another those basic, human needs.
before i could catch myself, i blurted out, "they always listen, honey." immediately i knew that had come through me, not from me.
then, he surprised me. "thank you for praying with me. you have a very calming energy."
i smiled. "it's what i do." i extended my hand, which seemed to be my surprise to him. "take care," i said. he shook it. i noticed his eyes were a translucent brown...a little sad, but very kind. and crystal clear. he was still sitting on the ground when i left.
as i walked away--suddenly aware that i was freezing--a perfect little leaf blew down from a tree and landed directly in my path. so directly, in fact, that i stopped to pick it up.
in that moment, i remembered the Ancestors' connection to the white house and the land around it.
they always listen.
*i'm not linking to the pages because i don't want to give them any more traffic. they can easily be googled if you're interested. the IDF's tone is horrifying--it's as if they're simply playing a video game where stuff gets blown up. that staggering level of arrogance dishonors their forces in harm's way and those fighting and dying on the other side.
9.15.2012
lunar ritual: breaking vows and welcoming abundance
this is a very effective ritual for creating change in your life. if you're holding on to doubts about change or fear "losing" people/situations that you've become attached to, you may want to gain more certainty and clarity before beginning this process.
but...if you're really ready to release and shift, this is definitely for you.
also: i have seen this reversed. some people release on the full moon and give thanks on the new. this method worked for me, but if your intuition leads you in another direction, follow that.
on the new moon...
- write/materialize your obstacle list. what's in your way? what needs improvement? what's keeping you from achieving your goal(s)? it should be made tangible so you can destroy it later.
- prepare for prayer. ground & protect yourself (visualize being surrounded in pure, brilliant white light from the bottom of your feet to the crown of your head). open your prayer as you normally would...calling in directions, protective spirits, etc. you can say your prayer on the morning or night of the new moon, whenever your energy runs highest.
- say the vow break prayer. at the bottom of this entry, i've listed the vow break prayer as it appeared on the website i used (if anyone finds it in this language online, let me know). my notes are in brackets.
- banish. safely burn your obstacle list, or tear it up. after your prayer, gather the ashes/pieces and place them on your altar or in your bathroom overnight. in the morning, drop the ashes/pieces into the toilet, cover them with "first urine", and flush.
during the waxing moon...
- reflect on what you want to create in the "new" space you've created with the obstacle removal.
- take note of your dreams. visualize. plan.
- give thanks when you see signs of negativity and other unnecessary things leaving your life.
on the full moon...
- give thanks. you can make a special time to do this, or incorporate it into your typical daily spiritual ritual. the point is to consciously express gratitude for the obstacles that have been and will be removed through your work.
- write a gratitude list. start each sentence with "i am grateful for..."
- have a party! celebrate the fullness and beauty of the moon and yourself.
~~~~~
VOW BREAK PRAYER
[even if you only use their list, still put it on paper. definitely add obstacles/issues in your own words as needed and necessary. again: be confident that what goes needs to go.]
I rescind any and all vows & contracts I have taken, anyone in this body has taken, and anyone within my genetic lineage has taken pertaining to:
Going to sleep and forgetting who I am
Participating with limitation
Making limitation Real
Not following Spirit
Not trusting the movement of Spirit
Denying karmic interaction
Resisting Divinity, Infinity, and Ecstasy
Resisting communion with Spirit
Resisting full embodiment of Spirit
Parasites, fungi, bacteria, microbes, mycoplasma and/or anything else which feeds upon my bodies or beingness which are not in alignment with my highest good...
Vows to ignore a given chakra or body
Denying the mastery of myself or others
Denying the sovereignty of myself or others
[add your own language here]
I now declare these vows & contracts null and void in this incarnation and all incarnations across space and time, all parallel realities, parallel universes, alternate realities, alternate universes, all planetary systems, all source systems, all dimensions and the Void.
Spirit, please release all structures, devices, entities, orientations or effects associated with these vows & contracts. NOW!
MOON PHASES 2012 - 2013
[source - http://www.calendar-365.com/moon/moon-phases.html]
New moon - September 15, 2012
Full moon - September 29, 2012
New moon - October 15, 2012
Full moon - October 29, 2012
New moon - November 13, 2012
Full moon - November 28, 2012
New moon - December 13, 2012
Full moon- December 28, 2012
New moon - January 11, 2013
Full moon- January 26, 2013
New moon- February 10, 2013
Full moon - February 25, 2013
New moon - March 11, 2013
Full moon - March 27, 2013
New moon - April 10, 2013
Full moon - April 25, 2013
New moon - May 9, 2013
Full moon - May 24, 2013
New moon - June 8, 2013
Full moon - June 23, 2013
New moon - July 8, 2013
Full moon - July 22, 2013
New moon - August 6, 2013
Full moon - August 20, 2013
New moon - September 5, 2013
Full moon - September 19, 2013
New moon - October 4, 2013
Full moon - October 18, 2013
New moon - November 3, 2013
Full moon - November 17, 2013
New moon - December 2, 2013
Full moon - December 17, 2013
9.13.2012
my thoughts on "Single & Yoruba"
over two years ago, i listened to this blogtalk radio segment and wrote a sort of running commentary. it's been sitting in my "drafts section" all this time, but since the conversation continues in ATR circles, i figured i'd post it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
point of order: can we stop with the "males" and "females" thing? ugh. especially since i typically hear "men" followed by something about "females". men and women sounds so much more...civilized {no binary-o}. thanks.
1. polygamy - this was probably the most balanced discussion on polygamy i've heard in a very long time. i was glad the hostess and panel had personal experience with polygamy and were able to give a FULL breakdown of it.
is it for me? no. i joke a lot about how i'd much rather have two husbands (polyandry). in all seriousness, i see the question of polygamy as one better considered by sistas who have children and/or may directly benefit from a polygamous situation in some way. if i'm making the commitment of marriage, i would only do so with the understanding that our situation would be monogamous--at least starting out.
as a woman not necessarily committed to childbearing--and not planning on having a large family even if i do--being one of several wives holds no interest for me. i'd rather stay single and/or be the primary partner in a polyamorous situation.
2. some of the traditional ways i dig. others i don't--probably because i'm just "too far gone". i trust and love my parents and my family, but damned if i wanna get with someone i haven't even looked in the eye good yet. direct courting/dating works well for me.
i've heard that some elders take on a "chaperone" role with (adult) godchildren. others will say, "leave me out of it 'til you're really serious/ready to go to the mat."
i honor the opinions and advice of my elders, but when it comes to marriage, i'm the one who'll have to live with him, not anyone else. i've been raised to hold that responsibility as an adult woman with {hopefully} good sense, guided by my heart and mind. if that's wrong or "nontraditional", so be it.
3. no comment on the brotha with the bembe hook-up problem...
4. i wonder if, in our modern context, it's best to assist people in becoming the best they can be and go from there. as one of the panel members said, many are "struggling with the basics"--for a multitude of reasons. the need for healing is pervasive and real--the sooner we see that, the sooner we can heal ourselves, our families, communities, and our world. that needs to be taken into account both personally and in the context of relationships.
even so, i think we can all agree that if you love, honor, respect, and uplift yourself, you will seek the same in a mate.
5. we have to be careful about these conversations being too heterocentric/heterosexist. it's probably time to have some "alternative" discussions, particularly since queer folks are quite present in our traditions. i'm sure--or would hope--that elders will deal with these matters as they come to understand their godchildren and their destinies.
6. glad to hear them asking what men can do instead of the usual, "oh...how can we improve ourselves/make ourselves more attractive" from sistas. also glad they mentioned the importance of personal observation, intuition, and good, old fashioned common sense in choosing a mate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
point of order: can we stop with the "males" and "females" thing? ugh. especially since i typically hear "men" followed by something about "females". men and women sounds so much more...civilized {no binary-o}. thanks.
1. polygamy - this was probably the most balanced discussion on polygamy i've heard in a very long time. i was glad the hostess and panel had personal experience with polygamy and were able to give a FULL breakdown of it.
is it for me? no. i joke a lot about how i'd much rather have two husbands (polyandry). in all seriousness, i see the question of polygamy as one better considered by sistas who have children and/or may directly benefit from a polygamous situation in some way. if i'm making the commitment of marriage, i would only do so with the understanding that our situation would be monogamous--at least starting out.
as a woman not necessarily committed to childbearing--and not planning on having a large family even if i do--being one of several wives holds no interest for me. i'd rather stay single and/or be the primary partner in a polyamorous situation.
2. some of the traditional ways i dig. others i don't--probably because i'm just "too far gone". i trust and love my parents and my family, but damned if i wanna get with someone i haven't even looked in the eye good yet. direct courting/dating works well for me.
i've heard that some elders take on a "chaperone" role with (adult) godchildren. others will say, "leave me out of it 'til you're really serious/ready to go to the mat."
i honor the opinions and advice of my elders, but when it comes to marriage, i'm the one who'll have to live with him, not anyone else. i've been raised to hold that responsibility as an adult woman with {hopefully} good sense, guided by my heart and mind. if that's wrong or "nontraditional", so be it.
3. no comment on the brotha with the bembe hook-up problem...
4. i wonder if, in our modern context, it's best to assist people in becoming the best they can be and go from there. as one of the panel members said, many are "struggling with the basics"--for a multitude of reasons. the need for healing is pervasive and real--the sooner we see that, the sooner we can heal ourselves, our families, communities, and our world. that needs to be taken into account both personally and in the context of relationships.
even so, i think we can all agree that if you love, honor, respect, and uplift yourself, you will seek the same in a mate.
5. we have to be careful about these conversations being too heterocentric/heterosexist. it's probably time to have some "alternative" discussions, particularly since queer folks are quite present in our traditions. i'm sure--or would hope--that elders will deal with these matters as they come to understand their godchildren and their destinies.
6. glad to hear them asking what men can do instead of the usual, "oh...how can we improve ourselves/make ourselves more attractive" from sistas. also glad they mentioned the importance of personal observation, intuition, and good, old fashioned common sense in choosing a mate.
7.26.2012
light and dark
a few nights ago, someone posted Alexyss Tylor's latest on tumblr and i went ahead and watched. after that, i happened to find a Vice magazine piece where she told a bit more of her story.
now, i have a couple of issues with her--similar to the ones i have with Kola Boof, minus the twitter experience--but i also have a new-found respect. she's a survivor. i don't always dig the way she gets the word out, but i understand that she speaks to realities i have not lived and pains i do not know.
i've noticed that many women labeled "crazy" or "wild" carry an abundance of Dark Goddess energy. Her names are many: Kali, Nana Buluku, Pomba Gira, Pele, Maman Brigitte, Iyaami, Ezili Je Rouge, Sekhmet. all-seeing eye havin, fire-spittin, ass kickin and name takin Divinity. the Mama that brought you in and will take you out.
in this incarnation, my path stresses peace, light and balance, but i am aware that many sistas choose differently. i can hardly blame them; the help and privilege i've been afforded don't come to all of us.
when tragedy strikes or for those born into or out of pain, despair, and struggle, the light doesn't always make it through. sometimes the darkness comes first, and it comes strongest.
using the dark to heal is dangerous; it is the underworld journey, lonely and fierce. the light is safer, calmer, sweeter. but no matter the road, deep healing always carries the risk of no return. you can get lost in the dark, struggling against your own demons. you can go too far into the light, becoming neglectful and drifting into the next world before your time.
only those who remain on the surface forget the sanctity of balance.
so to Kola, Alexyss and others i say: there but for the grace of God/dess go i.
it's not an endorsement, or full agreement. i have my reasons for sticking to my way, as they do. still, i know that my way is only a way, not the way, and i'm not gonna reach everyone with it.
this is a recognition. an understanding.
i'm in my lane, they're in theirs, but we're all on the highway to the same destination: the empowerment of our sistas and the reemergence of Goddesshood.
now, i have a couple of issues with her--similar to the ones i have with Kola Boof, minus the twitter experience--but i also have a new-found respect. she's a survivor. i don't always dig the way she gets the word out, but i understand that she speaks to realities i have not lived and pains i do not know.
i've noticed that many women labeled "crazy" or "wild" carry an abundance of Dark Goddess energy. Her names are many: Kali, Nana Buluku, Pomba Gira, Pele, Maman Brigitte, Iyaami, Ezili Je Rouge, Sekhmet. all-seeing eye havin, fire-spittin, ass kickin and name takin Divinity. the Mama that brought you in and will take you out.
in this incarnation, my path stresses peace, light and balance, but i am aware that many sistas choose differently. i can hardly blame them; the help and privilege i've been afforded don't come to all of us.
when tragedy strikes or for those born into or out of pain, despair, and struggle, the light doesn't always make it through. sometimes the darkness comes first, and it comes strongest.
using the dark to heal is dangerous; it is the underworld journey, lonely and fierce. the light is safer, calmer, sweeter. but no matter the road, deep healing always carries the risk of no return. you can get lost in the dark, struggling against your own demons. you can go too far into the light, becoming neglectful and drifting into the next world before your time.
only those who remain on the surface forget the sanctity of balance.
so to Kola, Alexyss and others i say: there but for the grace of God/dess go i.
it's not an endorsement, or full agreement. i have my reasons for sticking to my way, as they do. still, i know that my way is only a way, not the way, and i'm not gonna reach everyone with it.
this is a recognition. an understanding.
i'm in my lane, they're in theirs, but we're all on the highway to the same destination: the empowerment of our sistas and the reemergence of Goddesshood.
5.24.2012
11.27.2011
this blog: version 3.1*
peace & blessings, beloveds!
obviously there have been some changes around here--with more coming. including video blogs!
i'm kinda trying to hype myself up there. i'm not really into the idea of slapping my mug up here, for a variety of reasons. but...when Spirit speaks, i listen. and the truth is, it's time to combat some of thewack interesting things floating around in the name of knowledge and understanding.
plus, i'm a bit slicker than i've let on. time to own that and put in some work.
but that's enough tooting my own horn. if you want a taste of some of the things i'll be touching on, check out Queen Mother Imakhu's podcasts or her youtube channel.
i'm also in the process of starting my reiki practice, so there will be some cross-posting re: healing energy work. if you'd like more information on that, feel free to comment here or get in touch directly.
so there you have it: the long version of my vague little update from two weeks ago. and...there's more coming. god/dess ain't finished with me yet.
as always, whether you comment often or never, i sincerely appreciate you reading and following along with me. let's go! (c) casamena
m khut n mer**,
Nuit Menhit (Omi)
*i think. i can't keep up. lol.
**m khut n mer is a kemetic salutation that essentially translates to "in light and love".
obviously there have been some changes around here--with more coming. including video blogs!
i'm kinda trying to hype myself up there. i'm not really into the idea of slapping my mug up here, for a variety of reasons. but...when Spirit speaks, i listen. and the truth is, it's time to combat some of the
plus, i'm a bit slicker than i've let on. time to own that and put in some work.
but that's enough tooting my own horn. if you want a taste of some of the things i'll be touching on, check out Queen Mother Imakhu's podcasts or her youtube channel.
i'm also in the process of starting my reiki practice, so there will be some cross-posting re: healing energy work. if you'd like more information on that, feel free to comment here or get in touch directly.
so there you have it: the long version of my vague little update from two weeks ago. and...there's more coming. god/dess ain't finished with me yet.
as always, whether you comment often or never, i sincerely appreciate you reading and following along with me. let's go! (c) casamena
m khut n mer**,
Nuit Menhit (Omi)
*i think. i can't keep up. lol.
**m khut n mer is a kemetic salutation that essentially translates to "in light and love".
6.02.2011
1.09.2011
the radiant night queen
in recent divination, i've pulled this card more than i can remember. Inanna's mantra in the deck is "embracing the shadow".
when i first seriously began exploring this aspect of myself, i mentioned how i gravitated to Pomba Gira, a spirit revered in brasil's umbanda tradition.
it was a sudden introduction--similar to the forceful wind that blew Ezili Danto into my life--and followed closely by a compulsion to wear some combination of red and black whenever possible.
by now you'd think i'd be used to the endless curves in Spirit's roads. but, they can still take me by surprise.
stay with me, now...
Pomba Gira is often depicted as a roma (gypsy) woman. word has it that the roma came to europe from india.
india--particularly the south--has deep, often obscured connections to africa, as evidenced through the indus kush civilization and the cultures of the various adivasi groups. many of these people are african in appearance, and they are considered to be the indigenous people of that nation.
so when i retrace my steps, coming to understand my shadow-spirit as a devadasi* warrior queen with a river of onyx hair doesn't seem so unusual. she is still, at her core, an afrikan woman.
she speaks:
deeply brown skinned child of an indigo-black mother, i am devoted to the temple and my people. i know the power of the sword and of the heart.
my aura precedes me. i stand fully in my sensuality, empowered by my priesthood--a child of the Love Goddesses. i carry all the mysteries of womanhood deep in my garnet womb.
upon my throne, i am an entity beyond the control, reach, or comprehension of any man, even as i haunt their dreams. i am dazzling in fine fabrics, jewels and radiant flesh. equally full of bawdy, ribald humor, i can blend into the seediest tavern without detection or molestation.
i am always, fully myself. i speak my truth.
i respect all who approach me confident in an understanding of their full selves.
i remain appropriately humble, but i never cower.
the spirit of balance and reciprocity is my breath. i fearlessly face and resolve my karma.
fear, hesitation, and unwarranted self deprecation have no place in my house. Royalty Knows Itself.
...and she is me.
*i've only skimmed (with intent to read) it so far, but this work purports to trace the historical/cultural evolution of the devadasis from their status in ancient times to the implications of their lives and work--such as it is--today. i wanted to post it for the sake of perspective.
i am speaking of all this from a spiritual perspective and, as such, i am considering the higher aspects of the tradition, the work, and its intent--as i recall them in my spirit and through Divinity. i am aware of many of the ways in which the culture and traditions of india are being exploited and warped to disenfranchise adivasi people--sometimes known as dalits, tribals, etc.--and the issues surrounding sex work there. however, that is probably all the more reason we are called to remember the older, more original truths, so that we can reclaim the ancient wisdom, heal, and renew ourselves.
it was a sudden introduction--similar to the forceful wind that blew Ezili Danto into my life--and followed closely by a compulsion to wear some combination of red and black whenever possible.
by now you'd think i'd be used to the endless curves in Spirit's roads. but, they can still take me by surprise.
stay with me, now...
Pomba Gira is often depicted as a roma (gypsy) woman. word has it that the roma came to europe from india.
india--particularly the south--has deep, often obscured connections to africa, as evidenced through the indus kush civilization and the cultures of the various adivasi groups. many of these people are african in appearance, and they are considered to be the indigenous people of that nation.
so when i retrace my steps, coming to understand my shadow-spirit as a devadasi* warrior queen with a river of onyx hair doesn't seem so unusual. she is still, at her core, an afrikan woman.
she speaks:
deeply brown skinned child of an indigo-black mother, i am devoted to the temple and my people. i know the power of the sword and of the heart.
my aura precedes me. i stand fully in my sensuality, empowered by my priesthood--a child of the Love Goddesses. i carry all the mysteries of womanhood deep in my garnet womb.
upon my throne, i am an entity beyond the control, reach, or comprehension of any man, even as i haunt their dreams. i am dazzling in fine fabrics, jewels and radiant flesh. equally full of bawdy, ribald humor, i can blend into the seediest tavern without detection or molestation.
i am always, fully myself. i speak my truth.
i respect all who approach me confident in an understanding of their full selves.
i remain appropriately humble, but i never cower.
the spirit of balance and reciprocity is my breath. i fearlessly face and resolve my karma.
fear, hesitation, and unwarranted self deprecation have no place in my house. Royalty Knows Itself.
...and she is me.
*i've only skimmed (with intent to read) it so far, but this work purports to trace the historical/cultural evolution of the devadasis from their status in ancient times to the implications of their lives and work--such as it is--today. i wanted to post it for the sake of perspective.
i am speaking of all this from a spiritual perspective and, as such, i am considering the higher aspects of the tradition, the work, and its intent--as i recall them in my spirit and through Divinity. i am aware of many of the ways in which the culture and traditions of india are being exploited and warped to disenfranchise adivasi people--sometimes known as dalits, tribals, etc.--and the issues surrounding sex work there. however, that is probably all the more reason we are called to remember the older, more original truths, so that we can reclaim the ancient wisdom, heal, and renew ourselves.
10.18.2010
8.07.2010
marked
i've noticed that folks seem mesmerized, surprised, wary or otherwise curious about my serpent tattoo.
i understood the issues that might arise around the design when i was led to it, particularly since it's my most visible tattoo to date. i thought about how the snake's gotten a bad rep in this culture, what with the whole temptation of eve thing, yadda yadda. to be honest, i'm grateful i haven't gotten many outright inquiries from strangers.
still, serpent's story goes much deeper than eden, particularly for african and other indigenous people, and i knew it went much deeper for me.
if you've been reading for awhile, you know i've written about my spiritual relationship with serpents. in the last few years, that understanding has widened and deepened, and all i can do is stand in gratitude for its role in my evolution.
over the years, i've learned that serpents have always been friends of the goddess, symbols of sacred wisdom, rebirth, and resourcefulness. when you consider the development of the major three western religions and what they needed to suppress in order to spread, flourish, and--let's face it--control, you can understand why the serpent had to be denied its prominence.
...now think about that symbolically, emotionally; what it would mean to manifest this lesson while inhabiting a human form.
this is the gift in studying animals you are attracted to or that show up in your dreams. it's what should always be in the back of your mind while you're watching pbs or enjoying "shark week".
refuse to stop at the "scientific" level. go deeper.
snakes--although worthy of respect because of their potential danger to humans--are not any more evil than any other creature. they are bearers of a particular kind of wisdom, as are all animals. that is why we all share this earth-space.
our four-legged, scaled and winged relations are living, breathing illustrations of nature's beauty, diversity, and conscious design--just as humans are.
examine what you've been taught to demonize. question what you idolize. you might surprise yourself.
i understood the issues that might arise around the design when i was led to it, particularly since it's my most visible tattoo to date. i thought about how the snake's gotten a bad rep in this culture, what with the whole temptation of eve thing, yadda yadda. to be honest, i'm grateful i haven't gotten many outright inquiries from strangers.
still, serpent's story goes much deeper than eden, particularly for african and other indigenous people, and i knew it went much deeper for me.
if you've been reading for awhile, you know i've written about my spiritual relationship with serpents. in the last few years, that understanding has widened and deepened, and all i can do is stand in gratitude for its role in my evolution.
over the years, i've learned that serpents have always been friends of the goddess, symbols of sacred wisdom, rebirth, and resourcefulness. when you consider the development of the major three western religions and what they needed to suppress in order to spread, flourish, and--let's face it--control, you can understand why the serpent had to be denied its prominence.
Healthy snakes usually have little or no difficulty with shedding and tend to shed their skins in one entire piece. Exceptions to this include snakes with injuries to the skin and/or scales resulting in scarring, and snakes housed in enclosures with suboptimal temperature and/or relative humidity levels.
The stresses associated with shedding can be substantial. Sick snakes, those suffering from malnutrition, or those whose health has been directly or indirectly compromised by poor husbandry experience delayed and incomplete sheds. These snakes tend to shed their skins in pieces. In fact, many of the pieces remain adhered to the underlying skin and eyes (retained eye caps).
The shedding process is preceded by a period of relative inactivity. This period usually lasts 1-2 weeks, during which time the eyes begin to exhibit a dull, bluish-white appearance. During this period, the snake's vision is impaired, which causes them to be rather unpredictable and sometimes aggressive. The skin during this period tends to have an overall dull appearance. The underlying new skin is soft and vulnerable to damage while the outer layers prepare to slough away. (source)
...now think about that symbolically, emotionally; what it would mean to manifest this lesson while inhabiting a human form.
this is the gift in studying animals you are attracted to or that show up in your dreams. it's what should always be in the back of your mind while you're watching pbs or enjoying "shark week".
refuse to stop at the "scientific" level. go deeper.
snakes--although worthy of respect because of their potential danger to humans--are not any more evil than any other creature. they are bearers of a particular kind of wisdom, as are all animals. that is why we all share this earth-space.
our four-legged, scaled and winged relations are living, breathing illustrations of nature's beauty, diversity, and conscious design--just as humans are.
examine what you've been taught to demonize. question what you idolize. you might surprise yourself.
7.29.2010
6.22.2010
evolving...
finally got the ori altar up and running, just in time for the solstice. i still feel like it's missing something, but i'm not quite sure what. i'm sure it will come to me.
iyalosa olaomi suggests getting up at sunrise for 8 days after constructing the space. thankfully, sunrise at this time of year is when i'm supposed to be getting my lazy self outta bed anyway.
in any case, i got up on time and said my prayers...wrote down dreams. i'm hoping to keep this going, despite the pre-moon ebbs and flows.
i also have some healing tea i need to brew...
i'm gonna get clear. by any means.
iyalosa olaomi suggests getting up at sunrise for 8 days after constructing the space. thankfully, sunrise at this time of year is when i'm supposed to be getting my lazy self outta bed anyway.
in any case, i got up on time and said my prayers...wrote down dreams. i'm hoping to keep this going, despite the pre-moon ebbs and flows.
i also have some healing tea i need to brew...
i'm gonna get clear. by any means.
2.04.2010
ain't no half steppin'
{first, let me preface this quasi-rant by saying i do sincerely hope those that transitioned as a result of what appears to be a very unfortunate accident are at peace, and that their families are comforted at this time.}
sigh.
that's all i could do when i heard about the james arthur ray incident this morning. somehow i didn't hear about it at all back in october. i have a love/hate relationship with the news...
aside from the fact that the secret is woefully incomplete in its approach--as noted by imakhu mwt shekemet in her description of her cowrie blessings book--this is an example of what happens when cultural misappropriation and white privilege go terribly wrong.
ray's assertion that he "sought out" these methods does not mean he knew the proper prayers, incantations and ritual items to ensure that everyone involved in the ritual would be safe. not everyone who seeks knowledge is taught.
his website states that a "native american expert" was involved in the construction of the lodge, but...did ray divine and/or note omens to discern an auspicious time? invoke the proper energies? or did he just learn how to build the structure?
also a little interested in how he's drawing folks to a $9,000-a-head retreat but doesn't have bail money.
other than the loss of life and injuries incurred, my concern is that a centuries-old tradition of healing and renewal will now be maligned because of the actions of folks too arrogant to realize they didn't know what the fk they were doing.
or, if you prefer a more legalized statement:
sigh.
that's all i could do when i heard about the james arthur ray incident this morning. somehow i didn't hear about it at all back in october. i have a love/hate relationship with the news...
aside from the fact that the secret is woefully incomplete in its approach--as noted by imakhu mwt shekemet in her description of her cowrie blessings book--this is an example of what happens when cultural misappropriation and white privilege go terribly wrong.
ray's assertion that he "sought out" these methods does not mean he knew the proper prayers, incantations and ritual items to ensure that everyone involved in the ritual would be safe. not everyone who seeks knowledge is taught.
his website states that a "native american expert" was involved in the construction of the lodge, but...did ray divine and/or note omens to discern an auspicious time? invoke the proper energies? or did he just learn how to build the structure?
also a little interested in how he's drawing folks to a $9,000-a-head retreat but doesn't have bail money.
other than the loss of life and injuries incurred, my concern is that a centuries-old tradition of healing and renewal will now be maligned because of the actions of folks too arrogant to realize they didn't know what the fk they were doing.
or, if you prefer a more legalized statement:
There certainly may be potential criminal exposure for Mr. Ray and others in this case as well. Among the questions on prosecutorial review would be -- whether James A. Ray intentionally and/or knowingly inflicted harm upon retreat members -- and whether he was competent to hold such an event in the first place or fraudulently misrepresented his capabilities for his own personal profit...
Such issues seem to be inherent in the realm of self-appointed spiritual leaders.
In short, one cannot attempt to monetarily benefit from the exploitation of spiritual practices of other cultures without taking reasonable precautions to assure the safety of paying participants. A person such as Mr. Ray cannot self-appoint himself as the guru, adapt his own method of spiritual enlightenment and be insulated from the general laws of negligence that apply to such gatherings. The lack of medical personnel present, as well as the apparent disconnect between reality and what Ray saw as spiritual enlightenment bear this out. Ignorance can result in fatalities or severe injuries when foresight and exercise of due care are lacking. In Sedona, Arizona, thus far it appears the evidence shows that it was.
9.16.2009
ethical sluttiness for the revolutionary sista
yesterday, i started reading the ethical slut.
so far, i like it. a lot.
however, it also illuminates the fact that there are so few tomes dealing with real-life, full, deep eroticism for women of color.
rarely are we asked about our needs. it's even rarer to have those needs validated once they fall outside a set of very rigid parameters. already you see that getting to the point of actually exploring those needs can be, at best, problematic.
...and we all know being "black enough" can be tough, especially when you're a black woman. in that case, you've gotta be black enough and woman enough.
clearly, i love my people and i love our history. we birthed humanity--what could be greater than that? although i haven't technically traced my bloodlines, i recognize my connection to mama africa and encourage others to do the same. i am aware of and interested in black struggles for peace, equality and freedom across the diaspora.
i am also a sexual being.
a single, post-30, not-rushing-to-get-married-or-have-babies-type of sexual being.
as such, i admit to having some anxiety around having my afrocentric/pan-africanist card revoked if/when sex enters the conversation.
why? because i love for the sake of pleasure, companionship, and spiritual-physical-mental enrichment, not procreation and/or the "ultimate goal" of securing a monogamous, life-long relationship.*
allow me to explain: most of the prominent voices in afrocentrism are male. these men talk about literal and figurative returns to africa with great aplomb, and many have learned the appropriate rhetoric and theory inside out. still, they seem to neglect the fact that consciously-minded black women would love to see the kingman's guide to comprehensively loving the black woman or sacred man.**
recently a wonderful sista sent me the prologue to the river where the blood is born. those few pages reminded me that there is a deep, rich, sensual story within the hips of african women; one of pure feminine power independent of the men in their lives--when they choose to have them (note: the badu backlash).
it is a story i know, but can only hear in whispers. so much of the story has been obscured, eradicated, twisted, or left untold.
all that to say, as far as i'm concerned, ain't nobody's business if your fist is in the air in the morning and your stilettos are in the air at night.
loving yourself for who you are--in whatever configuration--is loving your people.
P. S. - if there's one thing ifa has taught me, it is that my destiny is not yours. that is, our unique destinies flow into the community's destiny, and all is in divine order. to me, that speaks to the understanding that there is no need to control another or decry his/her choices--you don't know what god/dess has blessed them with, and it's not your affair. when you're working towards your highest good, you're not worried about it anyway; you have too much work to do.
if we are to live with good character--which is truly supreme--then we must be honest with ourselves and those we come in contact with. part of that honesty, i would think, entails taking the time to understand how our circumstances are the same, and how they have changed.
* for most of my life, i have been a serial monogamist, but one with fantasies of polyandry and a recognition that some of my fondest experiences of loving have been tied to some degree of polyamory.
** ...that does NOT involve questionable power dynamics, domestic violence and other misogynistic tactics. of course, i'm playing with the titles of shahrazad ali's the black man's guide to understanding black women and queen afua's sacred woman. to her credit, queen afua's husband does have a brief section in her book. either way, some of you beautiful, goddess-appreciating, non-christian/hebrew/muslim brothas need to represent!
so far, i like it. a lot.
however, it also illuminates the fact that there are so few tomes dealing with real-life, full, deep eroticism for women of color.
rarely are we asked about our needs. it's even rarer to have those needs validated once they fall outside a set of very rigid parameters. already you see that getting to the point of actually exploring those needs can be, at best, problematic.
...and we all know being "black enough" can be tough, especially when you're a black woman. in that case, you've gotta be black enough and woman enough.
clearly, i love my people and i love our history. we birthed humanity--what could be greater than that? although i haven't technically traced my bloodlines, i recognize my connection to mama africa and encourage others to do the same. i am aware of and interested in black struggles for peace, equality and freedom across the diaspora.
i am also a sexual being.
a single, post-30, not-rushing-to-get-married-or-have-babies-type of sexual being.
as such, i admit to having some anxiety around having my afrocentric/pan-africanist card revoked if/when sex enters the conversation.
why? because i love for the sake of pleasure, companionship, and spiritual-physical-mental enrichment, not procreation and/or the "ultimate goal" of securing a monogamous, life-long relationship.*
allow me to explain: most of the prominent voices in afrocentrism are male. these men talk about literal and figurative returns to africa with great aplomb, and many have learned the appropriate rhetoric and theory inside out. still, they seem to neglect the fact that consciously-minded black women would love to see the kingman's guide to comprehensively loving the black woman or sacred man.**
recently a wonderful sista sent me the prologue to the river where the blood is born. those few pages reminded me that there is a deep, rich, sensual story within the hips of african women; one of pure feminine power independent of the men in their lives--when they choose to have them (note: the badu backlash).
it is a story i know, but can only hear in whispers. so much of the story has been obscured, eradicated, twisted, or left untold.
all that to say, as far as i'm concerned, ain't nobody's business if your fist is in the air in the morning and your stilettos are in the air at night.
loving yourself for who you are--in whatever configuration--is loving your people.
P. S. - if there's one thing ifa has taught me, it is that my destiny is not yours. that is, our unique destinies flow into the community's destiny, and all is in divine order. to me, that speaks to the understanding that there is no need to control another or decry his/her choices--you don't know what god/dess has blessed them with, and it's not your affair. when you're working towards your highest good, you're not worried about it anyway; you have too much work to do.
if we are to live with good character--which is truly supreme--then we must be honest with ourselves and those we come in contact with. part of that honesty, i would think, entails taking the time to understand how our circumstances are the same, and how they have changed.
* for most of my life, i have been a serial monogamist, but one with fantasies of polyandry and a recognition that some of my fondest experiences of loving have been tied to some degree of polyamory.
** ...that does NOT involve questionable power dynamics, domestic violence and other misogynistic tactics. of course, i'm playing with the titles of shahrazad ali's the black man's guide to understanding black women and queen afua's sacred woman. to her credit, queen afua's husband does have a brief section in her book. either way, some of you beautiful, goddess-appreciating, non-christian/hebrew/muslim brothas need to represent!
8.29.2009
iba shango
...with love & gratitude for all your blessings, love & protection. ase o.
Alaafin, ekun bu, a sa
Alaafin, (the king of Oyo) snarls like a leopard and the people run away
Eleyinju ogunna
One whose eyeballs glow like charcoal
Olukoso lalu
Olukoso, the famous one of the city
A ri igba ota, segun
One who uses hundreds of cartridges to win victory in war
Eyi ti o fi alapa segun ota re
One who used pieces of broken walls to defeat his enemies
Kabiyesi o
We honor you
Ase
So be it.
(oriki & translation from roots & rooted)
8.02.2009
vodou child
in the new orleans airport, i found voodoo dreams by jewell parker-rhodes. although it was published over a decade ago, i'd never heard of it.
after a few pages, i was reading it as if it were going to float out of my hands at any moment.
a few days ago, i purchased the sequel, voodoo season. i've started it, but haven't had time to make too much of a dent.
i am intrigued by parker-rhodes' intimate familiarity with the lwa damballah and the various manifestations of spiritual sensitivity. i hadn't seen so much of myself in a book since octavia butler's parable of the sower.
the fictionalized marie laveau felt like a past life; her great-great granddaughter, marie levant, holds parts of my present one. i'm sure it was no mistake that she renamed the heroine levant, "rising", to counter the earlier la veau--the (nearly sacrificial) calf.
also compelling is levant's connection to her unknown-to-her ancestry. since i began revering my ancestors, i've come to intuit that i come from a long line of priestesses and wise women--african, native american, and european.
understanding that, i realized that i am not as unusual as i believed myself to be.
but i have no proof.
that's probably an advantage to families that stayed in the south: they remained closer to the spirits of the ancestors, the fields they worked, the stories of roots women and hoodoo men.
as much as i love my concrete, i need those stories now.
after a few pages, i was reading it as if it were going to float out of my hands at any moment.
a few days ago, i purchased the sequel, voodoo season. i've started it, but haven't had time to make too much of a dent.
i am intrigued by parker-rhodes' intimate familiarity with the lwa damballah and the various manifestations of spiritual sensitivity. i hadn't seen so much of myself in a book since octavia butler's parable of the sower.
the fictionalized marie laveau felt like a past life; her great-great granddaughter, marie levant, holds parts of my present one. i'm sure it was no mistake that she renamed the heroine levant, "rising", to counter the earlier la veau--the (nearly sacrificial) calf.
also compelling is levant's connection to her unknown-to-her ancestry. since i began revering my ancestors, i've come to intuit that i come from a long line of priestesses and wise women--african, native american, and european.
understanding that, i realized that i am not as unusual as i believed myself to be.
but i have no proof.
that's probably an advantage to families that stayed in the south: they remained closer to the spirits of the ancestors, the fields they worked, the stories of roots women and hoodoo men.
as much as i love my concrete, i need those stories now.
6.23.2009
her name was mattie
...my maternal great-great grandmother.
i saw a picture of mama mattie over the weekend and i've been thinking about it ever since.
she looked like pictures i've seen of jamaican maroons and sojourner truth. of harriet tubman and delia.
no one in my family looks like her now, although my aunt, her children and one of her granddaughters have milk-to-dark chocolate skin tones.
she was also one of the last in my mother's line to have many children:
gussie (my great grandmother)
clayton
leslie
emma todd
bubba (bertha)
madeline
now i'm wondering what her parents looked like, what kinds of stories they told.
did they know about their last african ancestor?
did she know about herbs and spells? dreaming? divination?
what did she look like at my age?
and on and on...
and then i thought, i probably never would have known her name if i hadn't asked my mother about her when i started on this path.
the practice of calling on my ancestors made it necessary to clear up the relationships behind the names i heard bantered around in family stories.
for many of us, this is when the pain of the maafa arises, since to many this information is lost. but it is also the power in returning to the veneration of our ancestors.
even if we do not know their names at first, when we call, they come and tell us. they can help us heal relationships with other family members, guide our steps and offer countless blessings.
iba egungun idile mi
ase
i saw a picture of mama mattie over the weekend and i've been thinking about it ever since.
she looked like pictures i've seen of jamaican maroons and sojourner truth. of harriet tubman and delia.
no one in my family looks like her now, although my aunt, her children and one of her granddaughters have milk-to-dark chocolate skin tones.
she was also one of the last in my mother's line to have many children:
gussie (my great grandmother)
clayton
leslie
emma todd
bubba (bertha)
madeline
now i'm wondering what her parents looked like, what kinds of stories they told.
did they know about their last african ancestor?
did she know about herbs and spells? dreaming? divination?
what did she look like at my age?
and on and on...
and then i thought, i probably never would have known her name if i hadn't asked my mother about her when i started on this path.
the practice of calling on my ancestors made it necessary to clear up the relationships behind the names i heard bantered around in family stories.
for many of us, this is when the pain of the maafa arises, since to many this information is lost. but it is also the power in returning to the veneration of our ancestors.
even if we do not know their names at first, when we call, they come and tell us. they can help us heal relationships with other family members, guide our steps and offer countless blessings.
iba egungun idile mi
ase
6.13.2009
sango & ogun
In Africa Ogun's color is pure red. Then we have Sango whose colors are red and white. The color for Obatala is white. We can see a pattern emerging here. Red represents virility, vitality, aggression. Red and white represents balance between aggression and compassion. White represents the incarnation of mystical unity.
Should any of you be plagued with notions that these three Orisa are enemies, or that they don't get along, know this is a common misconception. These Orisa represent a continuation of one cycle. The difference between Ogun, Sango and Obatala is like the difference between rain water, fresh water and salt water. They are different at some point, but they bleed into each other.
In some places in Nigeria Ogun and Sango are seen as loving brothers not enemies. You can see why. Sango is fire. What is fire in relationship to iron? Fire tempers iron and makes it stronger. That is not a hostile relationship. It is a symbiotic mutually beneficial relationship. As a Force in Nature it represents an important fusion of energy with no hostile implication.
~originally written by Awo Falokun Fatunmbi
the meeting of fire and iron is symbiotic and chaotic.
beneficial, but dangerous in human hands.
osun's cool, fresh throne doesn't always intervene. some days, we are those warring brothers...
but, in the end, we always wind up forging something new.
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