screaming to the sky

you can't tell me mary didn't have a powerful healing filming this.

that kind of release would feel really good right about now...

lost & found

lyrics

i can't say what this song was about for her, but for me it recalls the ongoing challenge to integrate my ego... the protective part(s) of myself i've constructed around my true Self/soul.

sometimes protection becomes obstruction...

amy, amy, amy...

one of my favorite artists of the last few years has passed on...ironically joining the 27 club.

i'm gonna credit a combination of okplayer and my girl sparkle for putting me on to her. the first notes of "rehab" hit me like a train. once i had back to black, i knew i had to go back and buy frank, her first album.

i related to her on several levels.

i laughed at "f*ck me pumps".

i played "love's a losing game" and "wake up alone" until i could sing every note.

i cosigned "in my bed", "stronger than me" and "some unholy war"--having been (and still being) all those women.

i triumphed with her when i heard "tears dry on their own", remembering the moments when i was truly, finally over him, him, and him.

i didn't consider it at first, but there is something to her channeling lady day some two generations later. since i discovered jazz, i've loved billie--probably for the same reasons i love amy: that willingness to put your heart and soul on record, literally, bruised and bloodied for all the world to see. crying through the music so we can take it out on our pillows and barstools. to this day, you'll find me pulling out "good morning heartache" on an emotionally difficult evening.

i had a blake, too. our relationship wasn't nearly as dysfunctional, but the bond was similar. we were tied to each other's spirits. we fueled and loved each other in rarely rivaled ways. recently i had to make the sort of break i'm not sure amy ever did. it hurt, and it's still hurting. but i knew i couldn't walk that road of stagnation and pain--not even for that love.

what really hurt amy? did it start with her wild dance with blake? before that? i often wondered.  i do know i could have slipped down her slope.  i've seen addiction both in my personal and professional lives and glimpsed it in my own. i have an unwavering compassion for folks with monkeys, demons, white horses, and pink elephants.

i kept hoping i wouldn't see this news. when she slipped from the tabloid glare, i thought maybe she was preparing to come back--bigger and better than ever. and maybe she was.

instead....she let go. 

rest, amy. rest.
may your gift inspire, and may your story save.
ase.

black mermaid...

if you've read this, it's easy to see why this song means so much...

musical notation

dear you,

this:




sincerely,

o.

iba yemonja

she tapped into something here...

(this was about an esthero song that she took down...bummer. but i still love her with all my heart.)

i'm a soldier in the army

every now and then, the perfect song comes out and fits right into your life...

i'm a soldier of love.

the first dozen times i listened, as the words started to emerge from the melody, i was captivated. 

i've been torn up inside / i've been left behind / tall i ride / i have the will to survive...pain. loss. memory. the struggle for sanity in the midst of rejection.

when she soars into i am love's soldier, then dips into i wait for the sound...

perfection.

sade's given us so many gifts...sweet taboos, bulletproof souls...and now she's channeled an anthem for those of us who didn't have a name until now. 

do we really have to wonder why we forgive her for abandoning us for decades at a time?

yes. i want to.

one day, two loves

it wasn't until today that i realized my grandfather and bob marley share a birthday.

they couldn't have less in common. LOL.

but i love them both.

thank you, pop-pop, for your love and your crochety old man-ness. for teaching me patience. and football. and, now, for your unwavering protection and guidance.

thank you, bob, for the music, the message, the love.

adupe ooo egun. iba ara t'orun. ase o.

pink at the grammys

amazing.

vodou child

in the new orleans airport, i found voodoo dreams by jewell parker-rhodes. although it was published over a decade ago, i'd never heard of it.

after a few pages, i was reading it as if it were going to float out of my hands at any moment.

a few days ago, i purchased the sequel, voodoo season. i've started it, but haven't had time to make too much of a dent.

i am intrigued by parker-rhodes' intimate familiarity with the lwa damballah and the various manifestations of spiritual sensitivity. i hadn't seen so much of myself in a book since octavia butler's parable of the sower.

the fictionalized marie laveau felt like a past life; her great-great granddaughter, marie levant, holds parts of my present one. i'm sure it was no mistake that she renamed the heroine levant, "rising", to counter the earlier la veau--the (nearly sacrificial) calf.

also compelling is levant's connection to her unknown-to-her ancestry. since i began revering my ancestors, i've come to intuit that i come from a long line of priestesses and wise women--african, native american, and european.

understanding that, i realized that i am not as unusual as i believed myself to be.

but i have no proof.

that's probably an advantage to families that stayed in the south: they remained closer to the spirits of the ancestors, the fields they worked, the stories of roots women and hoodoo men.

as much as i love my concrete, i need those stories now.

phonte on MJ

the realest.

iba ara t'orun

because he was only 9 years younger than my mother.

because i stood on an air conditioner just to kiss his picture every day.

because i had a "beat it" jacket.

because "thriller" was one of the first records i got that was my very own. not my parents', but mine.

because i loved him.

because we loved him.

rest well, michael.

...and just to get the taste of that last post outta my mouth

baba peter laying down the knowledge:

no matter where you come from
if you're a blackman, you're an african

random beauty

one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard as part of the soundtrack of one of my favorite anime series.

if you've seen it, you know how pivotal the scene is in the life of the character...but it's also a beautiful statement on the nature of suffering, life, struggle, the will to overcome death, and rebirth.

"obokuri-eemui" by ikue asazaki

you need to hear this.

trust me.

they're calling us back to the fold, y'all. please believe it.

big up to casamena

what's on repeat right now...

i know this feeling very, very well.

earth song

yeah, i know. it's mike. and everybody's got an opinion about mike.

but still.

this is still one of the most powerful songs i've ever heard.

the video is equally stunning...the image of people trying to massage life back into the earth can still bring tears to my eyes.

she will be loved...

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

playing along...

got this over here...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you're cool…

Opening Credits:
saul williams, "sunday bloody sunday"
uh...

Waking Up:
cassandra wilson, "tarot"
that could work. i need to be told "don't give up" lately.

First Day At School:
d'angelo, "smooth"
never. lol. i'm always a wreck.

Falling In Love:
common, "the people"
wtf?

Fight Song:
meshell n'degeocello, "headline"
???

Breaking Up:
madlib, "sitar ride"
*shrug*

Prom:
rachelle ferrell, "i can explain"
that actually fits...it was a rather traumatic evening...

Life:
jamiroquai, "you are my love"
hmm...

Mental Breakdown:
4hero, "2-BS-74638"
does sound a little unstable...

Driving:
meshell n., "mu-min"
depends on the drive...

Flashback:
cassandra wilson, "love is blindness"
LOL. yeah. could be...

Getting Back Together:
adele, "best for last"
perfect, considering my last situation.

Wedding:
adele, "tired"
wow.

Birth of Child:
erykah badu, "time's a wastin"
no $hit...

Final Battle:
madlib, "dark alley incidental music"
i can dig it.

Death Scene:
ursula rucker, "broken"
good title...

Funeral Song:
adele, "chasing pavements"
hmm...

End Credits:
bugz in the attic, "dreams come true"
i hope so...