Menhit: the "other" lioness

my exploration of a Nubian lioness who became a fixture of Kemetic spirituality.

Mwt Nut ~ YeYe Yemonja

a cross-cultural love letter to two of my Mothers.

a note on Cleopatra

why Liz Taylor might not have been such a bad casting decision.

the Divine Feminine in KMT and beyond

setting the record straight on spiritual patriarchy.

open post: when "consciousness" fails to recognize linked oppressions. or: if you're brown, stick around (unless you're gay).

i was just having a discussion with my godbrother around this book, and had a thought:

i've noticed that the problem with [black / "afrocentric" homophobia] is that they're focused in on sexual acts, which, in turn, are sometimes confused with fetishistic practices. but trying to bring the complexities of kink into the conversation is pretty futile...

generally:

what makes babies = good
what doesn't make babies = bad.

the quality of the relationships in question and/or the psychosocial underpinnings of human relationships as a whole never comes into the conversation. it's black folks' fear of rejection/extermination/cultural annihilation on steroids. now, that's a real fear that's been imbued in us over generations--but we have to get beyond internalizing our oppression, even in our bedrooms.

so you have all that. coupled with a general lack of education around the basics of sex and sexual expression (except in the most patriarchal, male-dominated/controlled, sexist sense), it's a recipe for disaster when it comes to queer people.

folks wanna complain about "europeans" being sexually/sensually repressed, not realizing they've caught the same disease.

in my understanding, our ancestors understood ALL ways of being, living AND loving--balanced, imbalanced, and beyond. [emphasis added]

and, as i added later, this attitude can also make things pretty rough for the sistas, albeit in a different way*.

what do y'all think?



*aside from the blog entry, i also find that these same voices are the ones railing against reproductive justice for black women and other women of color, couched in "concern" and, again, that looming fear of genocide.

woman, unapologetically

it is my hope that, one day, my sistas will stop spitting out "feminism" as if it's a dirty word.

first and foremost: the mainstream feminist movement was never "ours" anyway.  black folks seem to have developed a gross misconception of what the feminist movement entailed both during its inception, in the mid to late 20th century, and now.*

the labels womanist/womanism do better to explain the struggle of women of color for dignity, life and freedom within the kryarchic oppression imposed by their respective men--but even that might not be enough.  and that's ok.  wikipedia attempts to sum up some of the complexities:

Black feminism argues that sexism, class oppression, and racism are inextricably bound together.  Chicana feminism focuses on Mexican American, Chicana, and Hispanic women in the United States. Multiracial or "women of colour" feminism is related. Standpoint feminists argue that feminism should examine how women's experience of inequality relates to that of racism, homophobia, classism, and colonization.  Postcolonial feminists argue that colonial oppression and Western feminism marginalized postcolonial women but did not turn them passive or voiceless. Third-world feminism is closely related. These discourses are related to African feminism, motherism, Stiwanism, negofeminism, femalism, transnational feminism, and Africana womanism.

that's a lot, right?

for me, the bottom line is this:

i deserve to be able to stand up for myself and my humanity--from my seat as a woman and in solidarity with other women. if that somehow screws with the worst manifestations of the black man's ego, i don't see that as my problem.  or, more sweetly said, that is an opportunity for healing amongst the community of brothas, just as we have healing to do amongst ourselves.

being down for some of "our men" at the expense of ourselves is killing us, not to mention forcing us to shoulder the blame for systemic problems that harm us all.  somehow, our collective consciousness around those systemic issues has been reduced--in many circles--to a perceived inability to have "respectable" heterosexual relationships.**  in my humble opinion, that loss of consciousness is both unfortunate and dangerous. 

expanding that thought: if "feminism" is the root of the black man/woman problem, then maybe it got that way when black men achieved a measure of male privilege in the general society.

yes, you heard me.

in that historical window between the end of segregation and the beginning of urban decay--including the rise of the prison industrial complex--it seems that black men learned a lot and forgot a lot.  then, when sistas got wise and started looking out for ourselves, the response from the brothas wasn't, "whoa...maybe we should check ourselves."  black women were simply wrong, acting counter to our original culture, trying to be "white" and all that. or lesbians.

the forgetting was deep and complex.

black women have always worked.
black women have always been spiritual leaders.
black women have always made, kept, and used their own money.
black women have always been strong.

it'd be lovely if we could recall the concept of ubuntu, coming to understand that all our oppressions under white supremacy are linked. i can't get free without you, you can't get free without me, and the basis of all that is that we also have to let ourselves be ourselves--man, woman, human.

it is my belief that when you are following your purpose--the things you agreed to do before you incarnated--then you are assisting the community. but so many sistas are being taken off their square so they can fit in, be down, please a brotha or at least remain "attractive" to one...

warrior goddesses pushed into to being handmaids for the consciousness movement du jour. mama goddesses forced to settle for mediocre mates as they fulfill their calling to raise the beautiful babies that will someday move us all forward. love goddesses pushed into the ever changing vortex of the madonna/whore complex when they could be transforming the energy of whole communities--while enjoying deeper, higher love in more powerfully intimate spaces.***

we are so much more than the boxes we've been given. if we're going to decide to embrace afrika, we need to look at her fully, and that includes understanding the true depth and complexity of the afrikan woman.

"feminism" doesn't have a whole lot to do with that.  being truthful with ourselves does.


*anybody remember that little rift between elizabeth cady stanton and susan b. anthony around whether or not to give black women their due? remember mama audre's constant calling out of white feminists? no? see what i mean?

**despite who might be left out of that equation--not to mention the centering of the gender binary.  and who defines respectable? but that's another blog...

***and please note just how white that madonna/whore thing is. 

drumming while female

i've been thinking seriously about owning a drum. for several reasons.

i know a lot of sistas can be intimidated into thinking that they can't/shouldn't/never did drum, but we do, and we did.  this knowledge is reemerging from many sources.

From a metaphysical standpoint, women are natural receptors. As such, we, often unknowingly, pull in the energies of our environments. The added bonus is that we also have the bonus ability to transmute. Any toxicity we pull in can be changed and released to the community or cosmos for greater benefit. Personally, I become much more psychically in tune with my environment when I drum, and can feel when something is in or out of sync. Our ancient foremothers knew these secrets as they gathered in secret during the mooncycles to trance dance and drum these energies into personal and collective empowerment. Today's woman has lost touch with these practices, but tries to subconsciously transmute by partying, obsessive exercise, drinking, shopping...all in an effort to shift the toxic energy that has been built up from daily living.

Buy a drum.

You will be delightfully amazed at how beneficial just five to fifteen minutes of drumming is for you. And when you drum, pray. Mentally focus your intention. Bond with the energy of your instrument and make magick. Extend the time as you go further into your drumming meditation. You'll find yourself trancing out as Queen Nyabinghi's drummers did as they were possessed of her warrior spirit. You may have ancestors come to your aid. [source]

also check out layne redmond's research, obini bata, and this blog that seems to have quite a bit of information on female drummers in west africa.

uganda (reconciling ministries network)

lots of questions/issues here...

why are they so stuck on white american christians and their messages of christianity? wouldn't it make more sense to at least flock to some black folks for these "messages"?

what's with the emphasis on sex?

oh, and...gay folks forced hitler to kill...gay folks? ok.

there needs to be some education around the differences between fetishistic practices (the recurring poo-poo theme...) and other forms of sex/sexuality.

while we're at it, let's also get into discerning the difference between sexual abuse and what happens between safe, sane, consenting adults.

and, ultimately, is having more africans killing other africans (in africa, no less) in any way a good thing? guess no one thought about it that way. everyone just wants to help the children...

personally, i'd love to hear about what ugandans believed before the anglicans and the catholics came around, 'cause i have a hard time accepting the idea that homosexuality is somehow being thrust upon this nation, but the garbled "word" of a foreign, presumably white god wasn't. or is the bible more ugandan than i thought?

praying for true, healing enlightenment, respect for life, and a return to OUR ways.

marimba ani

amen & ashe

from 2002.

let's keep connecting those dots, folks.

marked

i've noticed that folks seem mesmerized, surprised, wary or otherwise curious about my serpent tattoo.

i understood the issues that might arise around the design when i was led to it, particularly since it's my most visible tattoo to date.  i thought about how the snake's gotten a bad rep in this culture, what with the whole temptation of eve thing, yadda yadda. to be honest, i'm grateful i haven't gotten many outright inquiries from strangers.

still, serpent's story goes much deeper than eden, particularly for african and other indigenous people, and i knew it went much deeper for me.  

if you've been reading for awhile, you know i've written about my spiritual relationship with serpents. in the last few years, that understanding has widened and deepened, and all i can do is stand in gratitude for its role in my evolution.  

over the years, i've learned that serpents have always been friends of the goddess, symbols of sacred wisdom, rebirth, and resourcefulness.  when you consider the development of the major three western religions and what they needed to suppress in order to spread, flourish, and--let's face it--control, you can understand why the serpent had to be denied its prominence. 

Healthy snakes usually have little or no difficulty with shedding and tend to shed their skins in one entire piece. Exceptions to this include snakes with injuries to the skin and/or scales resulting in scarring, and snakes housed in enclosures with suboptimal temperature and/or relative humidity levels.


The stresses associated with shedding can be substantial. Sick snakes, those suffering from malnutrition, or those whose health has been directly or indirectly compromised by poor husbandry experience delayed and incomplete sheds. These snakes tend to shed their skins in pieces. In fact, many of the pieces remain adhered to the underlying skin and eyes (retained eye caps).


The shedding process is preceded by a period of relative inactivity. This period usually lasts 1-2 weeks, during which time the eyes begin to exhibit a dull, bluish-white appearance. During this period, the snake's vision is impaired, which causes them to be rather unpredictable and sometimes aggressive. The skin during this period tends to have an overall dull appearance. The underlying new skin is soft and vulnerable to damage while the outer layers prepare to slough away. (source)

...now think about that symbolically, emotionally; what it would mean to manifest this lesson while inhabiting a human form.

this is the gift in studying animals you are attracted to or that show up in your dreams.  it's what should always be in the back of your mind while you're watching pbs or enjoying "shark week".

refuse to stop at the "scientific" level.  go deeper.     

snakes--although worthy of respect because of their potential danger to humans--are not any more evil than any other creature. they are bearers of a particular kind of wisdom, as are all animals. that is why we all share this earth-space.

our four-legged, scaled and winged relations are living, breathing illustrations of nature's beauty, diversity, and conscious design--just as humans are.  

examine what you've been taught to demonize.  question what you idolize.  you might surprise yourself.

breast ironing

this angers me. for many reasons.

why punish girls for being the victims of rape and sexual assault? 

where is the men's responsibility? their maturity? sense of dignity?

i get that the mothers are doing what they know to try and protect their daughters. i am not passing judgment on them.  

but...have they forgotten their magic?

where are the ancient social structures that would have prevented this? they're pretty standard in original african culture.  has the infiltration christianity and/or islam eroded any sense of the rightful status of women?

obviously, i have a lot of questions.

oh, henry.

apparently, skip gates is at it again.

having read this in full, i realize i don't have the desire to go fully in on this white supremacy - in the theoretical/academic sense - apologist.

as sista jo so aptly said, "...and this is precisely why they champion him. He tells their version of our story"; a perfect example of what happens when the hunter (or the hunter's minion) writes the history instead of the lion. 

i do, however, wish to point out a few things.

Advocates of reparations for the descendants of those slaves generally ignore this untidy problem of the significant role that Africans played in the trade, choosing to believe the romanticized version that our ancestors were all kidnapped unawares by evil white men, like Kunta Kinte was in “Roots.” The truth, however, is much more complex: slavery was a business, highly organized and lucrative for European buyers and African sellers alike.

right about the business (kinda), wrong about the reparations.

from everything i've ever seen, the common ground in the case for reparations is the disproportionate contribution free slave labor made to the bloated wealth america enjoys today.  that's what we're owed for. period.

to paraphrase another brilliantly obvious twitter observation, africa didn't profit from the slave trade. as with any other capitalist power move, a few elites profited from the slave trade - which ain't the same thing. the maafa initiated a severe brain drain that continues to this day.

most regular african folks just suffered.  just like the enslaved folks here.

moving on...

For many African-Americans, these facts can be difficult to accept. Excuses run the gamut, from “Africans didn’t know how harsh slavery in America was” and “Slavery in Africa was, by comparison, humane” or, in a bizarre version of “The devil made me do it,” “Africans were driven to this only by the unprecedented profits offered by greedy European countries.”

But the sad truth is that the conquest and capture of Africans and their sale to Europeans was one of the main sources of foreign exchange for several African kingdoms for a very long time. Slaves were the main export of the kingdom of Kongo; the Asante Empire in Ghana exported slaves and used the profits to import gold. Queen Njinga, the brilliant 17th-century monarch of the Mbundu, waged wars of resistance against the Portuguese but also conquered polities as far as 500 miles inland and sold her captives to the Portuguese. When Njinga converted to Christianity, she sold African traditional religious leaders into slavery, claiming they had violated her new Christian precepts.

speak for yourself, dude. these facts aren't difficult to accept, they are what they are. for anyone who's studied this history, we know that whitefolks did any and everything in their power to win over whoever they could to feed their machine, and some africans played along.

it's known that slave trading has occurred in africa since the arabs came and conquered colonized spread islam all up and through west africa.  before that, there were inter-ethnic conflicts. everyone who's ever read  chancellor williams understands that it's been eons since there was anything resembling african unity in a social sense, despite the various examples of cultural unity.

however, that slavery was nothing like chattel slavery in the west. typically, slavery was not a permanent condition, did not render you less than human, and did not apply to your children and their children.  enslaved people had a particular set of rights, and harsh masters were sometimes shamed socially.

no matter what these african monarchs and elites may have been allowed to see on a slave ship or when they arrived in europe, it is possible that they had no cultural/psychological grasp of how dehumanizing the systems of black enslavement were in europe and the americas.  it is possible that they literally could not even imagine it, given their life experience.   

but even if i give gates the benefit of the doubt here, the bottom line is that talkin all this trash without even a glance to the equally, er, "complex" history of arabia/islam in west africa is foolish, at best.

oh, i'm sorry. i forgot.  you're just looking to make another drop in the soundbite bucket of "post-racial" america. my bad. 

then there was this gem:

And there were thousands of former slaves who returned to settle Liberia and Sierra Leone. The Middle Passage, in other words, was sometimes a two-way street. Under these circumstances, it is difficult to claim that Africans were ignorant or innocent [emphasis added].

skip, sweetheart? the middle passage was never, ever a two way street. it was a one-way ticket to hell. whether that hell was reached through "willingly" (think of the social/economic/psychic pressures here...) relinquishing one's culture, language and spirit to supplant them with european ways, or being stifled in the cargo hold of the henrietta marie.

i see what you were trying to say, but...very poor choice of words.

now, the absurd conclusion:

Fortunately, in President Obama, the child of an African and an American, we finally have a leader who is uniquely positioned to bridge the great reparations divide. He is uniquely placed to publicly attribute responsibility and culpability where they truly belong, to white people and black people, on both sides of the Atlantic, complicit alike in one of the greatest evils in the history of civilization. And reaching that understanding is a vital precursor to any just and lasting agreement on the divisive issue of slavery reparations.

obama is uniquely positioned to understand the insanity of race relations in america. i believe that.  but all that there? you're trying too hard.

it's glaringly obvious that you'd do well to undo some of your monocultural, classist, seemingly "objective" thinking before attempting to speak on this again.  otherwise, you're only convincing the same whitefolks who have used this same, short-sighted argument time and again to deny their role in perpetuating and profiting from a system that traumatized the entire world.


for more on this, check out:
kwame shabazz
problemchylde
brother jesse's blog
the root (by michael gomez)
the griot (by dr. boyce watkins)
nigerian village square (by paul adujie)

outlier (cont)

the same facebook page linked to this piece later on. it's written by a yoruba woman and feels a little more comprehensive.

given this beginning, i'm gonna keep my eyes open for stories of the "other" women...

there's definitely more to this.

outlier

in today's internet travels, i came across this paper about sexuality in yoruba culture.

i enjoyed reading it, as i always enjoy further insight into yoruba culture in particular and african cultures in general. but i'm almost always left feeling like the odd woman out.*

as i've said before, i completely respect and honor the places and spaces of wife and mother. and the tenets of the yoruba ideal definitely feel more sane than 99% of the messaging we get growing up women of color in america.

but the "am i bad/wrong/weird/tainted??!?" stuff creeps up anyway...like, i wonder if i'd be "proper" even if i were raised within that context...and if i were "proper", i'd probably be very unhappy.

on the other hand, maybe i'd just need a "secret concubine" or two?

see, THOSE are the women i wanna know about...they feel like the ones i can relate to.

but i suppose they don't write papers...


*not that i have shit on gbltqi folks who are practically invisible in these discussions, and whose stories--even in cultures that were inclusive/accepting pre-european contact--have been eradicated, obscured, lied on/about or dismissed as folly.  i'm speaking personally as a cis, straight black woman since the author is outlining "my" ideal sensual life as a student and spiritual devotee of the culture.  hence, i chose not to delve into the problematic aspects of the gender binary, lack of queer/alternative perspective, etc as i've done elsewhere.  

however, i also read a great summation of the 4th annual africa conference on sexual health and rights today that touches on precisely those issues, as well as disability. 

ethical sluttiness for the revolutionary sista

yesterday, i started reading the ethical slut.

so far, i like it. a lot.

however, it also illuminates the fact that there are so few tomes dealing with real-life, full, deep eroticism for women of color.

rarely are we asked about our needs.  it's even rarer to have those needs validated once they fall outside a set of very rigid parameters.  already you see that getting to the point of actually exploring those needs can be, at best, problematic.

...and we all know being "black enough" can be tough, especially when you're a black woman.  in that case, you've gotta be black enough and woman enough.

clearly, i love my people and i love our history. we birthed humanity--what could be greater than that? although i haven't technically traced my bloodlines, i recognize my connection to mama africa and encourage others to do the same. i am aware of and interested in black struggles for peace, equality and freedom across the diaspora.

i am also a sexual being.

a single, post-30, not-rushing-to-get-married-or-have-babies-type of sexual being. 

as such, i admit to having some anxiety around having my afrocentric/pan-africanist card revoked if/when sex enters the conversation.

why?  because i love for the sake of pleasure, companionship, and spiritual-physical-mental enrichment, not procreation and/or the "ultimate goal" of securing a monogamous, life-long relationship.* 

allow me to explain: most of the prominent voices in afrocentrism are male. these men talk about literal and figurative returns to africa with great aplomb, and many have learned the appropriate rhetoric and theory inside out.  still, they seem to neglect the fact that consciously-minded black women would love to see the kingman's guide to comprehensively loving the black woman or sacred man.** 

recently a wonderful sista sent me the prologue to the river where the blood is born.  those few pages reminded me that there is a deep, rich, sensual story within the hips of african women; one of pure feminine power independent of the men in their lives--when they choose to have them (note: the badu backlash).

it is a story i know, but can only hear in whispers.  so much of the story has been obscured, eradicated, twisted, or left untold.    

all that to say, as far as i'm concerned, ain't nobody's business if your fist is in the air in the morning and your stilettos are in the air at night.

loving yourself for who you are--in whatever configuration--is loving your people.

P. S. - if there's one thing ifa has taught me, it is that my destiny is not yours.  that is, our unique destinies flow into the community's destiny, and all is in divine order. to me, that speaks to the understanding that there is no need to control another or decry his/her choices--you don't know what god/dess has blessed them with, and it's not your affair. when you're working towards your highest good, you're not worried about it anyway; you have too much work to do.

if we are to live with good character--which is truly supreme--then we must be honest with ourselves and those we come in contact with.  part of that honesty, i would think, entails taking the time to understand how our circumstances are the same, and how they have changed.



* for most of my life, i have been a serial monogamist, but one with fantasies of polyandry and a recognition that some of my fondest experiences of loving have been tied to some degree of polyamory.


** ...that does NOT involve questionable power dynamics, domestic violence and other misogynistic tactics.  of course, i'm playing with the titles of shahrazad ali's the black man's guide to understanding black women and queen afua's sacred woman. to her credit, queen afua's husband does have a brief section in her book.  either way, some of you beautiful, goddess-appreciating, non-christian/hebrew/muslim brothas need to represent! 

i can show you better than i can tell you...

i should have known it would be easy to fall in love in a place like this.

vintage everything...




truths wrapped in myths wrapped in mysteries...






good times and debauchery



juxtaposed with sheer architectural beauty...





the pleasures & pains of the ancestors*






and the cultural triumphs of their descendants





please trust me when i say i will return. within hours of my arrival, new orleans found her way to my heart and made herself at home.


*the current site of the omni new orleans hotel used to be known as the st. louis exchange hotel. slaves were sold there. the second photo is a detail of congo square.

some notes for white supremacists

in memory of dr. george tiller, the peruvian earth warriors, ken saro-wiwa, the navajo and hopi of black rock mesa, my egun, and all those who have suffered at the hands of the insanity that is the white man's burden, whatever its manifestation.


do not be angry at us because the schemes and plans of your ancestors failed to exterminate those you find "undesirable".

it is not our fault the lies you've cultivated are crashing down around you.

the sooner you realize that those in positions powerful enough to affect the course of the world--who looked like you, not me, and who trumpeted your values, not ours--are the ones who exported us around the globe in an effort to make their lives easier; created the artificial borders; and forced you to die in their wars then abandoned you, the sooner you'll understand our enemy is a common one.

i admit that i am a fan of whitefolks getting their shit together before they come talk to us. thanks to the inordinate privilege built up over the 500 years since columbus sailed the ocean blue, it won't get better until you talk to one another and get the story straight.

because you won't believe us. you never have--well, maybe when we were the only people who could roundly educate you (remember kemet? timbuktu?). but not since. these days, you generally behave like genius-level--but wholly ungrateful--pupils.

please understand: you cannot stop the return to sanity and balance. the universe always rights itself. you could dilute, but not suppress, our bloodlines, languages, spirits and cultures.

the truth is slow, but dependable. it's time for new paradigms.

i apologize for the cognitive dissonance this must cause, but you will, quite simply, have to deal with it.

hating us won't help. globally speaking, there are more folks who look like us, and we're beginning to realize how illusory the world you've built around, over, and through us is.

denial won't help either. technology only continues to upset your deceptions and confirm our truths.

let go.

it's ok.

really.

you can take the people outta africa... (part 4: the reasoning)

(in case you missed it: part 1, part 2, part 3)

this project is not meant to be insulting or flippant about the charismatic black church, but to encourage understanding and highlight a deeply rooted connection.

as erykah said, when we were brought here, we had to change some things. part of that was behaving as if we worshiped the white gods when we didn't. however, as with most forced acculturation, some folks wound up completely rejecting the old ways.

that doesn't change the fact that "catching the spirit" or being "filled with the ghost" is intimately related to traditional african expressions of spirituality and spirit contact.

over 10,000 years of wisdom and culture could not be erased in a few centuries, and it is still resisting erasure. this is in our blood, and it doesn't go away simply because we get baptized in the name of yeshua instead of having a lave tet.

finally, i hope that my christian brothers and sisters begin to do some serious, in-depth research and come to understand the truth of what is being honored and called upon before dismissively referring to traditional spirituality as "devilish" or demonic.

as far as i'm concerned, the most demonic thing someone can do is convince you to deny the gifts of your ancestry when you see the proof every time you look in the mirror.

to paraphrase some of my older family members:

this is some white folks' shit.

how do we know? well...the ifa oracle is a binary system. african fractals were purposefully used before any white man knew what to call them. tales about the serpent and the rainbow weren't just pretty stories, they helped explain dna.

physicists ain't tellin us shit we didn't already know.

too much reason can blind you...