one of these things is not like the other....

ok, so, lately my "radical/conscious/spiritual"* brothas and sistas have been pissing me off working my nerves around certain issues, particularly involving women, gbltqi folks, etc.

the latest mess started after tyler perry appeared on oprah.  apparently, he's the new poster man for how/why homosexuality is a "problem" amongst our folk, how the white man messed us up, and so forth.

as calmly and clearly as i can, i'm gonna try to break down at least part of what i think is wrong with the pictures i see folks painting.

1. while i admire mr. perry's willingness to talk about his abuse, i fully resent his and others' juxtaposition of abuse and dysfunction with queerness. full stop. anyone who shares his experience has a lifetime of healing to do. that's ok. within the context of that healing journey, what he does (or doesn't do) in his intimate life will likely depend on where he is in his healing.  and that's ok.  but to try to equate that process with ALL gay folks? nah, son.

2. along that same line, there are plenty of bgltqi folks who were NEVER molested as children, and are, therefore, no more confused or conflicted about being themselves as other folks are about being straight.  i've seen no evidence outside of fundamentalist religious contexts that says the majority of people who identify as other-than-heterosexual have been abused or otherwise "warped". behavior is not orientation, and the effects of abuse vary across people and cultures. people are complicated, and so is human sexuality.
(2a.) plenty of hetero folks have been abused in this same fashion.

3.when are we going to deal with the fact that SEXUAL ABUSE is the problem, and stop lauding the "victory" that at least some/most folks emerge from it "straight"?

4. apparently we still need to shout this from the rooftops: pedophilia is a psychological dysfunction involving a sexual attraction to children. the majority of pedophiles--regardless of the gender of the child(ren) they target--identify as heterosexual in their adult relationships.
(4a.) most children are assaulted by people they know, as was the case with mr. perry. you probably need to expose that "dirty uncle" in your family before you start worrying about the lesbian couple down the street.

5. this "population control" panic is nonsense.  we're not going anywhere. just about everyone's birth rates are going down in the u.s., for various reasons.  however, people of color are still the majority in the world. you know who gets paranoid about cultural/physical annihilation? you guessed it! whitefolks.  and now they've got us up in arms about their fear.  who's still talking about losing fam to the military and prison industrial complexes, gang life, and HIV/AIDS?  where's the mobilization around government corruption, healthy food, or better education? 
(5a.) this stance makes a LOT of assumptions, including that gay/lesbian and other queer folks don't have biological children. they do.

and, again, if you don't know any queer folks in the "movement", it's because you've shut them out of your view.  several of the folks you love/quote ad nauseum self-identify as same gender loving or otherwise not-straight. don't believe me? look it up.

if you wanna toss out their contributions to our people's greatness, be my guest. i prefer to stay great.

i could be shouting at the walls on this one. i really don't care. but i would love to see folks stop spouting--verbatim--the same hyper-masculine b.s. we latched on to in the 60s and 70s.  there is necessary work there, and it carried us to a particular point.  but now we know better, and we can do better.  much better.
 

*all of these labels, imo, involve avoiding the same white supremacist traps that have been laid for us for centuries.  we cannot continue to allow our need for esteem and self-worth to eclipse good sense.  

being radically conscious is about radical inclusion and a broad understanding of the range of human experience, identity, and loving--yes, even within african culture.  radicals should seek to understand the intersections of oppression and desire to stamp out a variety of -isms / -archies: heterosexism, sexism, ableism, patriarchy, kyriarchy, etc.  

chancellor williams' the destruction of black civilization does a great job of de-romanticizing historical africa, and can be studied alongside diop's cultural unity of black africa for a better view of the ways in which african societies were both similar and markedly different.  

Transgender Children - Out Of The Shadows

i am continually reminded of why we need to question what we *think* we know/understand about being human.

think of how old humanity is.

think of all the knowledge & understanding that has been suppressed and lost.

think of how new the notion of "normal" truly is.

keep in mind that it is very likely we're actually RE-learning and remembering...not falling off some sin-filled, hell bound cliff.

on: "gay" marriage

this is one of those things i thought about speaking on, but felt like it was being bandied about in so many ways in so many places, why bother?

but, lemme sum it up so it's outta my head.

your state issues your marriage license, not any church.

no license (from the state), and you're not married. plain & simple.

according to the 14th amendment of the u.s. constitution, everyone in the u.s. has equal protection under the law. this had to be added because of the (ahem) problem posed by having a bunch of free black folk around after the civil war.

therefore, if we truly have separation of church and state, as noted by another one of those pesky constitutional amendments--the first one, in fact--the issue of "gay" marriage isn't an issue at all.

any two consenting adults--whatever that means in your state--should be allowed to enter into a state-recognized contract of marriage if they so choose.

period.
end of story.

whether or not your religious/spiritual institution will perform the ceremony that joins you in the eyes of the god of your understanding is for them to decide, and very few people are arguing that.

but to the judge and the irs, it ought to all be the same.

i don't see the problem.*

thank you and good night.


*of course, i didn't even start in on all the moral/social/spiritual stuff. i decided to keep it short & sweet. in any case, i think the only way to stop this mess dead in its tracks is to remind people that we do, in fact, HAVE a constitution. that seems to have gotten lost in the sauce about 5-7 yrs ago. that document IS the law of the land, and unless and until that's changed--let's hope we haven't gone that insane--we're essentially fiddling while rome's burning. angry at gay marriage when you can't buy food or keep a house? get the fk outta here...

aids burger? word?

some folk STILL don't understand.

there are some "fags" that will break you down...



thanks to crunk & disorderly for the post.

close encounters of the ex-gay kind

sigh...
and people really don't realize that this is part of the reason glbt youth are killing themselves, huh?

full story by matt hill comer

Not long ago, I opened my email inbox to find a promotional invitation from a group called Ignite Student Outreach. The promotional invite was advertising a series of summer camps, entitled “Close Encounters,” taking place in four states across the South, including North Carolina. Looking at the invite, my eyes almost immediately focused on the list of the camps’ guest speakers.

Ignite Student Outreach will be welcoming Alan Chambers of Exodus International and Scott Davis of Exodus Youth to speak to teens and Christian youth leaders. Exodus International is the “ex-gay” group which promotes the message of “Freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ.” Exodus Youth is its youth-outreach program.

Both groups believe that “reorientation of same-sex attraction is possible” and that reconciliation with Christ will enable “growth toward Godly heterosexuality.” The groups teach that homosexuality is “outside of God’s will” and describes the “homosexual lifestyle” as sinful, destructive, distorted and disordered...

Of course, there is no evidence whatsoever that “reorientation” and “reparative therapy” is effective. Every leading medical, social and psychological association in America has said that conversion and reparative therapies offer no evidence of efficacy, are based on no valid scientific theory and are psychologically dangerous and harmful to patients, especially adolescents.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, the potential risks of reparative therapies include “depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior, since therapist alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred already experienced by the patient.”