prayers for Palestine

last night, i went to a rally/vigil at the white house convened to draw attention to the latest developments in Gaza.  a friend told me about the IDF's twitter and tumblr pages, and i was horrified.* 

what does waging a "real-time" war solve, or prove?  how does that honor the soldiers, or the innocents that continue to suffer as "collateral damage" in these conflicts?  yes, the Palestinians have rockets.  but Israel has rockets, tanks, helicopters, fighter planes, soldiers...   

it was the typical scene: a group of pro-Palestinian folks on one side, a small, portable fence in front of them, police, then pro-Israel folks on the other side of the police line, closest to the white house.  there were chants from both sides, with the pro-Israel group incorporating singing and circle dancing. 

eventually, someone handed out candles.  an organizer said to gather in a circle and turn our backs to the pro-Israel group so as not to engage them.  that worked for awhile...then the chanting began again.

at one point they asked anyone who had a candle to move to the front, near the fence.  there were a few moments of silence to recognize those lost...then the shouts began again. 

i actually went with the intent to pray, not shout.  the whole time, i scanned both groups, trying to get a feel for what was happening beneath the surface.

anger.
grief.
reunions of friends and colleagues.
the need to be "right" overriding the reality of human suffering.
expressions of affection.
navel gazing.
tension between well-meaning whitefolks and embedded, invested folks of color.
elation when a lone drummer began punctuating the pro-Palestine chants.   

i noticed my candle and several others were particularly luminous: clearly marked halos surrounding the flames, accented by evenly spaced rays of light.  a sign of comfort, compassion, grace; the light of the Mother's presence. 

as my candle burned out, i moved back to the outskirts of the crowd.  the pro-Israel group took their leave, evoking a cheer from the pro-Palestinian folks.  when the police removed the barrier, they took over the sidewalk nearer the white house.

as i moved back, i noticed a young brother sitting on the ground, dressed mostly in khaki and wrapped in a keffiyeh.  something told me to stand next to him.  when he looked up, i asked if he was all right.

"yes. i'm just praying."

i nodded.

after a moment, i blessed some water, poured a libation and sat a few feet to his left to continue the prayers i'd started at the fence:

• for the mothers of the lost children.
• for souls to reach the Light.
• for the power to act from courage and love, not reactionary fear or anger. 
• for the space to grieve, and for that grief to be honored. 
• for those who could not freely shout as we did here.
• for the understanding that true protection doesn't have to mean denying life to someone else--especially those who are not directly engaged in battle. 
• for our love and our voices to reach those under siege, right at that moment, and in the days to come.
• for the young Jewish man who shouted, "you are not upholding the Torah."
• for the Palestinian / Middle Eastern women present...in hijab and unveiled, the children they brought. i knew that they, especially, held space for those who could not speak or witness for themselves. 
• for all those fighting for freedom and self determination around the world.
• for everyone present to reach home safely. 
• for the energy of the Mother / Divine Feminine to cover us.  to help us see that we are all human beings, under the same sun, seeking food, warmth, and life just like everything else...and understanding the deep affront that occurs when any of us willfully denies another those basic, human needs.

after awhile, i heard the brother say, "i don't know if they're listening, but i figured i'd pray anyway."

before i could catch myself, i blurted out, "they always listen, honey."  immediately i knew that had come through me, not from me.

then, he surprised me.  "thank you for praying with me. you have a very calming energy."

i smiled.  "it's what i do."  i extended my hand, which seemed to be my surprise to him.  "take care," i said.  he shook it.  i noticed his eyes were a translucent brown...a little sad, but very kind.  and crystal clear. he was still sitting on the ground when i left.

as i walked away--suddenly aware that i was freezing--a perfect little leaf blew down from a tree and landed directly in my path.  so directly, in fact, that i stopped to pick it up.

in that moment, i remembered the Ancestors' connection to the white house and the land around it.

they always listen.  




*i'm not linking to the pages because i don't want to give them any more traffic.  they can easily be googled if you're interested.  the IDF's tone is horrifying--it's as if they're simply playing a video game where stuff gets blown up.  that staggering level of arrogance dishonors their forces in harm's way and those fighting and dying on the other side.

Jobs & Justice - DC, 10.15.2011

{for pictures, click here.}

I arrived at the Mall around 11:30am, thinking I’d missed the march itself. Actually, it hadn’t started. Speakers were still speaking, folks were still gathering.

I noticed the youth first. They seemed ubiquitous, some in marching bands, others rhythmically shouting “Free DC!” as they made their way through the crowd. Black youth. I had to struggle to find whitefolks--one of the radio personalities cracked a joke about that from the stage a little later on.

gone too soon

{addendum: it's likely that the story that sparked this post is a hoax. but what i said still stands.}

i'm sick of this.

yes, i know kids get bullied all the time. for various reasons. but it really CAN be this isolating, distressing and hurtful.

i've been through it...and, to tell you the truth, i don't even really know why i was picked on. but i know it made me wanna stop living, too. luckily i had other influences that helped get me through.

but while i had to deal with folks' misguided sexual advances, i also had the privilege of being straight. these kids are vulnerable on so many levels.  they are invisible twice, sometimes three or four times over.

on the other hand, i have to wonder: where is this deep, dark loneliness coming from? don't the smart/weird/freaky kids band together any more, or is everybody going for self?

when i was in school, the "outcasts" stuck together.  even when they didn't like each other, if someone got harassed/beat up/talked about badly enough, there was some measure of support.  whatever happened to that?

for the rest of us...

watch how you speak of gay, lesbian, and transgender people.

speak up when your kids harass peers for being "different".

befriend a kid who seems lonely.

listen openly, without judgment. be willing to learn.

you might save a life.

in like a lamb, out like a lion

march was full...all kinds of travel, a blissful birthday, and lots of pleasant, deeply welcome surprises...

i tend to write more (and better) when i'm settled, so all the running around has taken me away from my creative projects.  but if you'd like an update...

i am saddened by the recent DC shootings and disappointed by offshore drilling plans. erykah's still giving me hope that there is some creativity left in the world, and i am always grateful for good news about africa.

haiti is still on my heart, and i pray for a merciful hurricane season for us all.  i'm unnerved by the differing faces and levels of terrorism both abroad and at home.

i am also reading armah's two thousand seasons, which is still so relevant to the ongoing struggle within the hearts, minds and spirits of black folks.  i know affordable copies can be hard to find; i got mine here, thanks to bilal sankofa. it's a jewel.

so...that's a snapshot of my life at the moment.  hopefully i'll be rambling on and on about something on these virtual pages very soon.

be blessed,

omi

ain't no half steppin'

{first, let me preface this quasi-rant by saying i do sincerely hope those that transitioned as a result of what appears to be a very unfortunate accident are at peace, and that their families are comforted at this time.}

sigh.

that's all i could do when i heard about the james arthur ray incident this morning.  somehow i didn't hear about it at all back in october.  i have a love/hate relationship with the news...

aside from the fact that the secret is woefully incomplete in its approach--as noted by imakhu mwt shekemet in her description of her cowrie blessings book--this is an example of what happens when cultural misappropriation and white privilege go terribly wrong.

ray's assertion that he "sought out" these methods does not mean he knew the proper prayers, incantations and ritual items to ensure that everyone involved in the ritual would be safe. not everyone who seeks knowledge is taught.

his website states that a "native american expert" was involved in the construction of the lodge, but...did ray divine and/or note omens to discern an auspicious time? invoke the proper energies? or did he just learn how to build the structure?

also a little interested in how he's drawing folks to a $9,000-a-head retreat but doesn't have bail money.

other than the loss of life and injuries incurred, my concern is that a centuries-old tradition of healing and renewal will now be maligned because of the actions of folks too arrogant to realize they didn't know what the fk they were doing.

or, if you prefer a more legalized statement:

There certainly may be potential criminal exposure for Mr. Ray and others in this case as well. Among the questions on prosecutorial review would be -- whether James A. Ray intentionally and/or knowingly inflicted harm upon retreat members -- and whether he was competent to hold such an event in the first place or fraudulently misrepresented his capabilities for his own personal profit...


Such issues seem to be inherent in the realm of self-appointed spiritual leaders.


In short, one cannot attempt to monetarily benefit from the exploitation of spiritual practices of other cultures without taking reasonable precautions to assure the safety of paying participants. A person such as Mr. Ray cannot self-appoint himself as the guru, adapt his own method of spiritual enlightenment and be insulated from the general laws of negligence that apply to such gatherings. The lack of medical personnel present, as well as the apparent disconnect between reality and what Ray saw as spiritual enlightenment bear this out. Ignorance can result in fatalities or severe injuries when foresight and exercise of due care are lacking. In Sedona, Arizona, thus far it appears the evidence shows that it was.

half my heart's in haiti...

i added some links to the sidebar related to haiti relief.

please, do what you can to help the people of this nation.

if you would rather patronize a local benefit, hold a vigil, organize your own fundraiser, light a candle...whatever works.

just do something.

these efforts will need to continue months and likely years into the future (remember katrina).

give now, keep abreast of the needs of the people, and keep giving. keep doing. keep praying.

vive l'ayiti!

tiger by the tail

i'm sick of the tiger woods thing.

there are many reasons, but here's the main one: i still feel like we're having half assed, immature discussions based on the wrong questions. it's time to go deeper; ask the questions at the root instead of getting stuck on the leaves.

first and foremost, no one outside a relationship knows what the folks in the relationship have decided to put up with from each other. therefore, getting all righteously indignant about who's a whore/skank/slut and who ain't is irrelevant.*

the world has changed, is changing, as we speak. with that, the way we live and love is changing.

wouldn't it make more sense to begin to define loving in a more personal, intimate way and then build supportive communities around what works? what grows your family and contributes to the expansion and edification of your heart, mind and spirit might not look like anyone else's situation...and shouldn't have to.

what many of us are taught to "strive for" is built on jacked up gender roles, rapidly shifting socioeconomic standards, and paternalistic abrahamaic religious mores. in the western ideal, cis men and cis women are essentially brought up to be polar opposites of one another--opposites that are supposed to bond, procreate and live the (american/euro) dream for the good of (old man) god, forever and ever, amen.

that's a pretty small box to fit into, but plenty of folks are still trying.  and the pressure to conform is leading to all kinds of lies and heartbreak. 

the white, western world is now re-learning what many ancient cultures have known for centuries: all the things surrounding love and attraction happen within fluid continuums, not in rigid categories.  manhood and womanhood are meant to blend into and compliment one another, with the true emphasis being on full personhood and soulhood.  yes, you need an egg and a sperm to create more human life, but the binaries typically stop there. 

but we're talking infidelity, so, for the record, here's my stance: if you are in an intimate relationship with only one other person, and both parties have explicitly agreed that said relationship is sexually monogamous, if one party has sex with someone else without their partner's consent, that's not cool.**  

yes, "emotional affairs" are also possible, but with a sketchier premise that begins to delve into insecurities, lack of communication, arbitrary limits on the range and manifestation of human emotion...in short, another damn blog altogether.  

so, someone cheats--whatever that means in your world. what you do about it is your business. my point is, there are other, more relevant questions besides, "why do _______ cheat??!?!?", such as:

how long does it take to openly and honestly discuss a problem?  e.g., an "emotional" affair can happen on your desk or over the phone, but takes time to build steam.  physical cheating takes effort:  you're going out, meeting, take clothes off...etc.  when and how are you dealing with your primary partner?

where do women learn to "let it slide as long as [zie-she-he] comes 'home'"?  conversely, where do men learn that the appropriate response is to hurt/maim/kill the other party?

why is the first assumption that it's all about sex?  people have many needs.

what barriers exist to dissolving a relationship where you feel disrespected? are they concrete/material? cultural? spiritual?

consider the money and power factor. what made tiger think these women would stay quiet when telling would also bring notoriety?  what made him think his wife would stay (she'll be well taken care of either way, apparently)?  

see where this is going? 

ultimately, reducing these issues to "men will be boys" and "mistresses are whores" is silly, at best.  if we're gonna talk about it, let's really talk about it.


*from what little i've read/heard, elin seems pissed, so it's probably safe to say the relationship was not an open one.  still, the high horses are startling.  none of us know the other women any better than we know her.  plus, as someone mentioned earlier on my twitter feed, there are babies to think of.

**essentially, somewhere between 18-25 or so, you learn that this needs to be made crystal clear if you intend to get what you need out of the relationship and/or have a case if someone fucks up later. it's starting to sound like too many folks make assumptions about the nature of a situation and wind up getting hurt.  communication is fundamental, at all stages.  in addition, i abhor the "if you're not married, you can't cheat" crowd.  how silly do you have to be...

sorry, kid, no toys for you...

this is the latest article i've seen in a rather disturbing trend: some charities are excluding the children of undocumented immigrants* in their xmas programs.

so it's come to this?

instead of examining the real reasons for immigration...

instead of tearing down that insipid wall at the border...

instead of focusing on growing homelessness, hunger and unemployment for all of us...

we're just gonna be all grinch-y about who gets toys and who doesn't and make folks feel worse about themselves that way?

yeah.  that's really christlike, y'all.



*no person is illegal. also see no one is illegal - vancouver. some of the same factors are at play in the u.s. argument over immigration...

bad black (cis) mothers

sort of a piggyback from yesterday...melissa harris-lacewell breaks down the pathologizing of black motherhood. 

oh, yes.

evan handler's "america, i love you. americans on the other hand..."

call it what it is.

no matter where you stand on health care reform or even obama, the level of disrespect i saw last night during his speech was nothing short of appalling.

as much as i despise(d) the bush administration, i have enough home training to know that if i were in the halls of congress listening to the man speak, i'd have to sit on my hands and hold my tongue, period.

and i'm just a lowly layperson.

i am glad to see that joe wilson's opponent is raking in the cash this morning.

this got personal some time ago, but last night was the icing on the cake.

just like the gay marriage debate isn't about marriage, the venom over healthcare isn't about healthcare. 

wtf? a black man gets to call the shots?  where'd MY america go?? how dare he be more accepted by those insignificant foreign countries than good ol' george??  how is he more articulate, more intelligent, with the audacity to tell my kids to stay in school?  there are little black children living in the white house, for god's sake...can't you see something's wrong here??

in a word: racism.

what else can it be when the truth is spoken--albeit a truth i and many others have deep problems with--and they still demean, disrespect and disavow?

on a more personal level, i can see why folks with the means to leave during the jim crow era left.  who wants to live/breathe/eat/contribute to a place that is so obviously unconcerned about your health, well-being...that is so utterly repulsed by your very existence?

i'm not going to force you to love me, see my beauty, or acknowledge the depth and breadth of my people's history.  i will, however, continue to educate my people where and how i can.

i am tired of begging for respect and favors. it's obvious it doesn't matter what we say about our own oppression. we've just been overly sensitive for the last 100 years or so.  but my people should definitely know the faces of oppression and how it can be overcome.  i'll talk to them about that. 

whitefolks: until i see some of you with some real influence speaking this truth to your folks, i'm done talking to you.  don't imitate me unless you understand the roots.  don't ingratiate yourselves with me and my people unless you're willing to stand with us when they put the nooses around our necks and the bullets in our backs.*

i'm a fan of the devil i know, so thanks for showing your true colors once again, america.

i get it.



*i know/know of people who ARE doing this work, and i'm grateful to them for it. it's important and necessary.  however, i know it is not work that i would be able to do without suffering debilitating burnout. i also uplift people of color like damali ayo who work to help folks understand the effects of racism on PoC.

argh.

bob herbert on healthcare "reform".

once again, this country is shooting itself in the foot because of the lies it continues to perpetuate and the prejudices it feeds...

it isn't about marriage. seriously.

thinking about the marriage equality issue again...

frankly, it's time to reframe the argument.

every article i see on the topic seems to be progressively devolving into nitpicky, almost juvenile squabbling. when that happens, you have to wonder: what are people really angry about?

if you can agree that marriage is, essentially, a familial contract, it's obvious that these contracts provide very specific bureaucratic privileges which can also tie into a certain amount of class privilege*.

contracts aren't about gender or religion, they're simply contracts, right? so any two consenting adults should have the right to enter into said contract.

to be fair, everyone--heterosexual or otherwise--involved in these contracts should be calling them civil unions. 'cause that's what they are.

let's not forget that the church doesn't marry you. the preacherman's (or woman) power is invested by the state, even if you don't have the marriage ceremony at the courthouse.

i have not heard one person argue that churches/spiritual orgs should change their practices, and if i did, i would call him/her an idiot. from a religious standpoint, marriage can most certainly be defined as a covenant between a man and a woman. i may not agree with you, but we can coexist. that's cool.

can you see how, when you start sifting through the messy details, marriage begins to emerge as something else entirely?

in my humble opinion, it is beginning to seem that the institution of marriage defined as a heterosexual relationship between one man and one woman may be one of the last tangible vestiges of the "america is and always has been a christian nation" myth.

when many of these state constitutions and statutes were being written, the myth was accepted as fact by the rich, white, (presumably) heterosexual males who wrote them.

furthermore, there are many people in the mainstream culture (which is already feeling threatened) who cannot abide the debunking of this myth.

maybe, on a very visceral level, folks are mad because the collective consciousness that does not subscribe to the western european, patriarchal context will not go away. understandably, those who are fully invested in that context--by birth or acculturation--are fighting to hold it up in all its oppressive, abusive, insanity-creating glory.

listen. many sane people have been trying to break this to you for years, but apparently it still has not sunken in. let me reiterate:

while the first europeans to step on what is now called american soil may have been fundamentalist protestants and catholics, many of the colored people who were subdued, captured and otherwise oppressed by those "founders" lied to you. they feigned adoption of your god in order to ensure their survival.

the indigenous people of this land were not christian.

the west africans who came over on the slave ships were not christian. it took generations--in the colonies as well as in the caribbean--to even nominally stamp out the memory of those traditions, and they were still never fully eradicated.

and so on.

to you, the great melting pot is a proud accomplishment. to many of us "others", it is a euphemism for cultural erasure.

as wade davis said, "other cultures are not failed attempts at being you. they are unique manifestations of the human spirit." i would venture that that statement applies to human sexuality as well.

again i ask: what are we really arguing about?



*marriage, for many upper and middle class folks (or those aspiring to the middle/upper class) equals legitimacy. our society further acknowledges the legitimacy of this contract with all the benefits mentioned above. simply put, married people are special. if you make them less special in any way--since us little folks in a big, capitalist world so rarely come to understand our true worth beyond these kinds of benefits--it's a threat. see how that works? part of how they distract us & turn us against one another...

an open letter to president obama

president obama,

first, please allow me to congratulate you. your victory has ennobled and inspired more people--both here and around the world--than you can know.

that said, i am writing to express my respectful disagreement with your decision to not release photographs of potential victims of abuse in iraq.

unlike mr. wise, i hesitate to call the release "needless" and, far from agreeing with your decision, feel the need to challenge it.

war, by definition, is an unsafe practice. the only thing that would make our troops and iraqi civilians safe(r) is if they were not fighting a war. the attitudes of mr. wise and others who would agree with him put american lives above iraqi lives, giving both sides the potential to mistake highly visible minorities (our worst soldiers, their fundamentalist militants) for representatives of entire nations full of diverse people, opinions, and beliefs.

mr. president, if we are not fighting dirty, we have nothing to hide. if we are, then the people have a right to know what these soldiers feel they need to do--or are being ordered or pressured to do--in order to "win". as a student of history, i'm sure you know that abu ghraibs are rarely isolated incidents in wartime, they are simply the ones that give the others a name.

we cannot uphold life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness within our own borders, then go abroad and behave in a manner diametrically opposed to that principle.

i'm also not sure who told mr. wise that we had a "bond of trust" with the iraqi people. in more isolated areas where fighting has been rare, that may have been and still might be true. but i've listened to enough independent news sources to know that many iraqis have been wary of us from the beginning, and whatever trust we engendered was eroded when we began to act as any other occupying nation would.

the war itself has given propagandists all they need to demonize america. if a set of pictures that will likely come out anyway could be a tipping point--both here and abroad--then we need to examine why we're doing what we're doing, and what our actions say about the discrepancy between this nation's ideals and its reality. whenever we engage in war, the people should be fully informed of the cost of that war, especially when the peculiar grace of geography and technology do not allow us to observe it up close.

you have already shown far more tact and intelligence than your predecessor; for that, i and many others are grateful. indeed, your outspokenness about the prison at guantanamo bay is laudable. but this war was a mistake from the beginning, and many people knew it. it is time to stop the lies and the obfuscation of the truth, admit our mistakes, and do whatever we can to bring our troops home.

once again, thank you, mr. president, for all you are doing. in the future i hope that i will be able to silently praise and commend your efforts far more often than i am urged to be demonstratively disappointed by them.

sincerely,

omi


p.s. - i am the daughter of a vietnam vet who is still dealing with many of the physical and emotional consequences of that war. my grandfather passed on still bearing scars from his time in the second world war. i sincerely hope that mr. wise and anyone else who claims to be on the side of military families does not simply follow orders as they're given, but also seeks to repair the very broken VA system, reduce the number of military suicides, and work for peace to keep our troops from unnecessary harm.

interesting stuff...

flu satire

there are comets older than the sun.

this is why i always think that stories like lord of the rings have a bit of truth to them. theoretically, all kinds of people, societies and animals could have existed that we can only understand as "fantasy"...

on: swine flu

while i appreciate the human toll the swine flu has taken and may take over the coming weeks, it is a good reminder that we have not defeated or subdued nature, and as long as we live on this planet, we will not and should not do so.

germs are here to stay--whether we live in the richest, most technologically advanced society or the darkest slum.

death is part of life. so is illness.

yes, things have gotten better (here), but we also have to understand that there are plenty of folks across the world who are still dying in droves from things we don't even think about anymore (e.g. tb, measles, dysentery...)

but, if it worries you, here's the bottom line:

wash your hands, especially before you eat.
stay home if you're sick.
take proper precautions if your immune system is compromised.

...just like you would if a cold were going around the office. or a stomach flu.

don't allow the doomsday prophets and tamiflu pushers to warp your perspective. live your life.

oh, and you might want to google "factory farming" and "nafta flu", too.

stay well!

what part of illegal don't you understand?

i'm digging this.

(unfortunately i can't literally "digg" it 'cause you've gotta sign up or something & i'm tired of arbitrarily signing up for crap, etc.)

i've been saying for years that america's kicking itself in the ass by refusing to properly educate its own kids simply because some of them don't look like kids we think should/need to be educated and/or are worthy of education.

...but we'll come up with all kinds of programs to get folks from elsewhere to do what we refuse to teach our young people to do. people who often take advantage of the opportunity to better themselves, then go back home.

it's really very simple: either you give everybody a true shot at the opportunity you're always going on about, or be honest and say it ain't here--unless you can pay for it.

it costs a lot more to keep someone in prison for 20-30 years than it does to provide them with a college education and/or job training. so what's the problem? who wouldn't want as many productive citizens as possible?

oh, right.

get outta line, and we'll toss you in jail with the quickness, age notwithstanding.

sri lankan cricket team attacked

again i have to wonder:

what's really going on here?

where are the guns coming from?

is any of this about some ideal of islam--or any ideal at all--or is it more about government corruption, blackmail, and the extortion of poor, desperate people?

my gut reacted to this article the same way it did to mumbai--something's missing. the whole story isn't being told.

it feels like the same old someones are pulling strings...

shout out to rorynyc for the heads up.

just legalize it already.

finally, a sensible take on the michael phelps "scandal".

bottom line: everybody put in the position of hero ain't one.

furthermore, it is extraordinarily problematic to worship youth on the one hand, then be unforgiving when youth acts like itself.

legally speaking, yeah, he screwed up.

morally, though, what has he done besides show us he can swim?

he has not been entrusted with the lives of children, the financial future of hundreds, or the governance of a city, town or state.

so far, he's a kid who can swim. what are you broken hearted about?

isn't it wonderful

to finally have a real president again?

it ain't perfect, but it's a good start. kind of like a teaser trailer.

this may be obama's notice that he truly does mean to do what he says, but it will take pressure from us to make congress and everyone else fall in line.

...and, just for the record, aaron has a point. i dunno why it's so hard for folks to hear, but it's true.

stay woke, y'all.