in today's internet travels, i came across this paper about sexuality in yoruba culture.

i enjoyed reading it, as i always enjoy further insight into yoruba culture in particular and african cultures in general. but i'm almost always left feeling like the odd woman out.*

as i've said before, i completely respect and honor the places and spaces of wife and mother. and the tenets of the yoruba ideal definitely feel more sane than 99% of the messaging we get growing up women of color in america.

but the "am i bad/wrong/weird/tainted??!?" stuff creeps up anyway...like, i wonder if i'd be "proper" even if i were raised within that context...and if i were "proper", i'd probably be very unhappy.

on the other hand, maybe i'd just need a "secret concubine" or two?

see, THOSE are the women i wanna know about...they feel like the ones i can relate to.

but i suppose they don't write papers...

*not that i have shit on gbltqi folks who are practically invisible in these discussions, and whose stories--even in cultures that were inclusive/accepting pre-european contact--have been eradicated, obscured, lied on/about or dismissed as folly.  i'm speaking personally as a cis, straight black woman since the author is outlining "my" ideal sensual life as a student and spiritual devotee of the culture.  hence, i chose not to delve into the problematic aspects of the gender binary, lack of queer/alternative perspective, etc as i've done elsewhere.  

however, i also read a great summation of the 4th annual africa conference on sexual health and rights today that touches on precisely those issues, as well as disability. 


mindful said...

It almost seems appropriate that I should read this entry today since I just finished one on sexuality... I love the depth of your discussions...

sugar sista said...

thanks... :-)