goddesspace III

long-time readers will be familiar with the evolution and incarnations of the goddesspace. it started out as a sort of eclectic, crystal-centric space devoted to the divine feminine.

phase two was lovely, but short lived. i never really took to the space, and the end of summer ushered in a strange, difficult phase.

so i started again. the initial idea was great, the execution mediocre.

just as i started to birth the space, money got tight and inspiration waned. but as i've been able to give name and form to the shifts i've been experiencing over the last few weeks, the fog lifted and i could finally give the space the time and attention it deserved (i'm sure the new moon energy didn't hurt, either)...

plenty of light, color, and quartz. triangles enhance energy.

feathers...beauty, expansion, warmth; a reminder to keep the spirit light and prepared for flight.

i'm hoping that this one will last at least as long as the first, if not longer.

self love #5

typically the "self love" posts are more about imagery than words, but inspiration led me to take some good but "too hot for blogger" shots, so i won't be going there.

but i can say that i gained a new appreciation for the ridges and ripples my lovers enjoy.

i got a view of my tummy that made me want to kiss it.

i learned that maybe i shouldn't be so critical of the slope of my breasts; they look very different from outside angles.

my thighs aren't as fat as i think they are.

twisted and turned a certain way, i am full of mountains, valleys, hills and waterfalls.

one shot put me in mind of a melting golden candle.

so, yeah. it's good to be me.


one minute

Today's Writing Prompt: Transportation
Describe your primary mode of transportation. Do you wish it was different?

these days i'm always on the commuter rail, so yeah, i wish it were different. i enjoy driving more, but...the environment. i wish i could fly or glide or sometimes i think i'd even prefer a bike. i mean, what's better than the wind in your hair? but then... the cars and the exhaust. blah. but yeah. flying would be really, really dope. definitely.

(one minute writer)

little things

getting out of bed at 11:30


dancing around the living room


rose quartz salt baths


honeyed french toast

raven's nests

hot tea

apple-cherry cider


river dreams

...i'm beginning to think i just needed a day all to myself. time to sleep and to dream. time to reconnect, revision, reset.


fussing with my muse (again)

i think i'm coming down with another one of those writing compulsions. but i don't know what to write about. that's when it gets particularly frustrating.

there are all these amorphous forms filling up my head. glimmers of ideas or feelings or word arrangements trying to manifest themselves, but with no clear channel for expression.

i suppose i'm the channel, but i don't know exactly what i'm supposed to do.

i can't always be taken over. i don't always have the time.

then again, i can't always shake off the impulse, either.

physically, i'm fine. i.e., i don't feel like some massive cleansing is in order.

spiritually, i'm in some kind of spin cycle.

emotionally, i'm stronger, but still a little fragile. like cooling caramel.

...and there was more, but i got distracted.

y'all have no clue how thankful i am for this five day weekend...



thank you.

help me.

...the only two prayers i can say right now.


random blog #128390

it's been a weird couple of days.

time is still blurring hopelessly. it's all i can do to keep myself on task at work. i won't even speak on the house. even coworkers have expressed a general difficulty keeping focus this week.

last night i came home to a disturbed house and barely got to sleep.

the squirrels are in the kitchen walls again. i know they can't get in--and even if they did, they'd have the cat to deal with--but the scratching is maddening.

i'm back to thinking about moving, but will the money be there? probably only if i get that second job...

i have a cake to bake.
twists to redo.
a new goddaughter to see.
bills, bills, bills.
i need some water.

the snowflakes were pretty this morning...

i think i need a break. maybe run to the bank and the grocery store. i want to scrub the kitchen floor and do a quick spiritual cleanse of the whole place. burn more incense. i think i'll feel better then.



i feel like i'm having more interesting conversations with more interesting people.

the world feels more open and full of promise than it has in some time.

it's almost wintertime, but the feeling of fertility makes it seem like spring. i can't even imagine how glorious that actual season will be.

it appears that obama served as a medium for the chant of change...but the energy generated from it is very real. see how spirit works?

we have opened a portal where true, lasting change really is possible.

the work has started.
the mantra has manifested.

2009 is going to be a very compelling year.


the boogeyman

ok. another scary movie about the illuminati...

(with a bonus blurb on tupac!)

now, as i've said before, i'm about as much of a conspiracy theorist as any other black person in america. however:

(1) if all this illuminati stuff is not (or only partially) true, it's irresponsible to keep tossing it into the wind and

(2) if it IS true, where's the outrage? was there ever a time when we weren't "sheeple"? and, if we know less now than we used to, what changed? were there people who knew about this stuff? what happened to them? how long ago? what about in the rest of the world? are we all idiots?

and, most importantly, where are the solutions? no one ever talks about that.*

plus, it's painfully obvious that enough people don't know (or don't care) to combat these illuminati people, so aren't we all screwed anyway?

i feel the same way about 2012. if it is, in fact, the end of the world due to some cosmic catastrophe and the only way to avoid it is to get off the planet, three years can't save us. the technology's not there, and if it is, only a select few know about it anyway.**

bottom line is, i suppose i question the motives of shock jock conspiracy theorists as much as i do those of the ruling elite.

so, if you're into this sort of thing, feel free to drop me a line. maybe i'm missing something...

*zeitgeist is a notable exception. i recommend it to anyone who's interested in this kind of stuff as a far less alarmist, even handed treatment of the topic.

**personally, i agree with those who say 2012 is meant to usher in the start of a new age of humanity, i.e. spiritual, social and psychological evolution, not the "end of the world". as far as catastrophes are concerned, i'm more worried about the ones tied to global warming than anything that might happen when the planets line up. not to say a big ass comet couldn't hit the planet, but, again, what can we really do about that?


giving thanks...

no collectors calling me
self awareness
knowing when to buy a cookie for sanity's sake
rose quartz
culinary skills
fresh sheets
sometimes just not giving a fk



i never thought i'd see it. i know my parents and grandparents didn't think so.

but here we are.

america got one right.



...is one of those days when i feel held together by gossamer fairy wings, radish beams and duct tape.

somehow i wound up leaving the house, basically only because i couldn't think of an excuse good enough to warrant not coming in to work (damned work ethic...), despite feeling like my soul was caving in.

the ancestors said they were gonna get me through the day, so i'll have to trust in that. right now, it's the only thing keeping me upright anyway.


to my rbg, fist-in-the-air, radically black family

i love y'all.
i really do.
but y'all ain't runnin shit.

i understand where you're coming from, but until we have a multiple-party system in this country that reflects the actual diversity of opinion and politics in this country, your message will not be effectively heard.

we've been falling through the cracks too long, and these days counterculture is almost a joke.

don't get me wrong; largely, i agree with you. politically, i'm about as far left as you can get without falling off the continuum. i am a practitioner of traditional african spirituality. i was raised to trust and love my people above all else. i am anti-war, anti-capitalism, and try to remain cognizant of the role of all sentient beings i share the planet with.

but i am also aware that that is not the consciousness that founded, established, and/or runs this nation. and, since it is a nation founded on a european, judeo-christian foundation, it may never be.

i believed the cia put crack into our communities and that 9/11 was a fixed game long before either conspiracy theory became popular (y'all just wait on that 9/11 one...it'll take awhile...). i never supported this mess in iraq. i know my leaders often lie to, cheat, and steal from me--whether i vote for them or not.

but when we have a chance, even if it's a small one, to show the world what more liberal, inclusive, and equitable leadership looks like, we've gotta take it. even if it means taking one for the shitstem.

i know good and hell well obama is not the messiah, and never thought he was. i don't even believe in a messiah--but that's another post.

he doesn't share my history or even my bloodlines, although, presumably, his wife may.

besides, even if he's as different as we're hoping he is--and i'm starting to think he just might be--he's not gonna be able to fix this mess in 4-8 years, 'cause it wasn't made in 4-8 years.

...but neither would mccain.

that said, there are times where you recognize the need to compromise on the macro level in order to make it easier to do what you do on the micro level.

i am not an activist, and don't claim to be. i have love for all of you who feed the community, who raise money and run education campaigns for political prisoners, who tear down this system brick by brick, and who lose life and limb to do so.

but i do see this particular election as a real chance to finally, possibly, have efforts like yours see the light of day. it's already becoming clearer to the mainstream that mobilizing the grassroots is how you truly effect change and get things done.

that's why obama pisses them off--the energy behind his campaign, ideas and platform are reminding us ALL of that fact, and it's imploding reaganomics, the bush administration's lies, and everything in between.

...just like y'all knew it would.

have you noticed that they're finally paying attention? all the misunderstandings, rumor, and innuendo going around about obama that make it painfully obvious that they don't know black folk too well, even after 400-some-odd years?

it's finally sinking in: we're here, we're not going anywhere, and neither are all the other black, brown, yellow and red people they tried to keep under the heels of their boots.

and, horror of horrors, we might even rise up and wind up running their precious, lily white, city-on-a-hill nation.

brothers & sisters, i know you don't "believe" in this thing, but by the will of the universe, we've come to live in it, and most of us are uni-lingual, monocultural products of it, no matter how much marx, fanon, diop, and marimba ani we read.

that doesn't mean it's fair.
doesn't mean it's right.
doesn't mean that our ancestors don't deserve justice.

it just means that change comes in a multitude of manifestations, and sometimes you've gotta look beyond your usual horizon.

so, even if you've never voted before, i hope you vote(d) today.

all power to the people.

with love & in freedom,