longing

i wanna write something awe-inspiring and beautiful.

i want to be sensual, appealing, full of myself.

i wanna smile at a pretty man and have him buy me a drink. then dance with a completely different, but still lovely, man.

i wanna laugh with old friends and meet new, interesting, intriguing ones.

i wanna sip tequila and soak my feet in the ocean.

i want a clean, clutter-free, sweet-smelling house.

i wanna drive somewhere pleasurable and fun for a week.

...but all i can do is stare blankly at the computer screen, full of wishes and dreams; numb with fatigue and consumed by the hunger.

what a mess.

i'm gonna get this right one day.