show of strength

some days it's amazing that i find a way to keep from screaming.

i can't believe that i'm not sitting here in tears, babbling like an idiot.

i don't know if this is strength, or stupidity.
probably survival.
i do need a job, after all.

but this is one of those days i have to hold my breath.

on my way to work, i almost got caught up in the breeze and the sunshine and the brilliance of the trees...not to mention cassandra's voice on the stereo...

and i had to stop it.
suck it all in.
hold back the poems trying to bubble up,
hold back the instinct to find a spot to pour libation and pray,
refuse to dance to the drums playing in my head.

because i knew i had to come in here, and i haven't figured out how to balance ecstacy and professionalism just yet.

obatala, keep my head cool.

today i am grateful for sunshine, laughter, jasper, and just the right song at just the right time.