i've had several conversations lately about children...how someone's babies were doing, how they're growing, and when i'm going to have some of my own.
most of my life i've been pretty ambiguous about the prospect of being a mother. my mother's family is not what anyone would call prolific. it's never been impressed upon me that i must have children. it's a choice that i've been taught to treat with the utmost care, esteem, and respect. you don't just have babies just to have them, and you don't have them young if you can help it.
that said, something in me fully awakened today.
i want a baby.
i want to experience gestation, creation.
facilitate the entry of a new/old soul.
it's like...there's a room in the center of my body that wasn't there before. i want to decorate it with flowers and beautiful colors, soft light and sweet words.
i want to be full of life and love and possibilities--not that i'm lacking that, but to share those things with the universe in the process of developing a human being...