i'm beginning to soften a bit about honey.
i don't feel as angry. but i'm still distrustful. he's being very gentle, loving. but i'm more closed to it than i'd like to be.
i miss him, i love him, but i still need time.
time is something i've taken more than a few liberties with when it comes to my heart. i have this way of using stepping stone relationships to fill the spaces between more in-depth encounters. very interesting people tend to fall across my path. i think "why not?".
there also tend to be consequences--at least for the poor fellow(s) who happen to wander my way.
i admit that i enjoy being liked. i like being fawned over. i enjoy flexing my empathic muscles during the game of getting to know someone.
i've done all my self examination and checked in with my feelings and this and that...
i understand the need for grounding. but i also want to spread my wings. it's becoming very difficult to think of this relationship as something other than a weight on my ankles.
i know it can be more than that, however, a lot of that potential rests on his development.
can i wait for that?
and if i can, what do i need to do for myself in the meantime?