by nature, i'm not an angry person. however, i seem to become very aware of my capacity for rage when i'm hormonal. it's uncanny.
maybe i should think of it as a power surge; a sudden awareness of what i could do if i really put my mind to it.
the anger probably comes from not being able to manipulate and shape the power to my liking. who has time to sit in the garden (eh...what garden?) and write or dream up spells or potions or prayers or incantations or whatever? i gotta sit up in this office for 8 hrs and some change and try to act like i don't have a galaxy brewing inside me.ah well. i try to keep it all in perspective.
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in a recent dream, i experienced a deep, almost uncontrollable rage...
i understood that, within the dream, the person and circumstances that caused the rage were simply placeholders, but i was reminded of how long it's been since i allowed myself to feel anything even close to that. the sense of imminent spontaneous combustion, and the power inherent in it.
simultaneously frightening and empowering.
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