5.21.2007

keepittogetherkeepittogetherkeepittogether (c) eddie murphy

i'm starting to feel like i've already checked out as far as this job's concerned...

but technically, i haven't. so i gotta keep my mind right until i can truly get the hell outta dodge.

some days that's hard. but i take a small measure of joy in being able to put a line through one more day in the calendar.

i know i shouldn't worry. i know the universe has my back. but that whole humanity thing tends to get in the way...

not being able to see the process can really fk with you sometimes. they say the journey's part of the fun, but i like to be assured of a destination. the downside of the relative stability and normality of my life is a need for security that simply isn't always available in the cold, cruel world.

leaps of faith used to come easier. now i envy people who can just let go and grab onto straws on a whim. i'm easily lulled by the promise of a rock to lean on, no matter what might creep out from underneath it.

gotta change it up.

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