exhaustion

last night i cried more than i have in a long time.

i hate feeling helpless. one of the worst feelings in the world is wanting to be there for someone you can't be there for.

but...i have to let it go. it's outta my hands.

still, between this and the other craziness of the week, i'm starting to feel kind of knocked around.

i'm gonna try my damndest to pull myself together and get my house clean before the weekend. i feel like i need to make my surroundings as new as possible.

i have to remember to eat and stay hydrated. those are the first things i neglect in moments like these.

i am, once again, quite hateful of the fact that honey is so conspicuously absent. i know he doesn't mean to be, but he's gonna make himself sick--if he hasn't already--running around for this jackleg job of his...

sometimes i feel like screaming, "when am i going to get taken care of for a change? when are you going to learn to take care of yourself?"

i suppose that's pointless at the moment.

gotta pick myself up off the floor and keep on going...