i wanna write something awe-inspiring and beautiful.
i want to be sensual, appealing, full of myself.
i wanna smile at a pretty man and have him buy me a drink. then dance with a completely different, but still lovely, man.
i wanna laugh with old friends and meet new, interesting, intriguing ones.
i wanna sip tequila and soak my feet in the ocean.
i want a clean, clutter-free, sweet-smelling house.
i wanna drive somewhere pleasurable and fun for a week.
...but all i can do is stare blankly at the computer screen, full of wishes and dreams; numb with fatigue and consumed by the hunger.
what a mess.
i'm gonna get this right one day.