you know, every time i see something like this or a blog like this, i start to wonder: am i really that different?*
or maybe gender roles are just that fked up, arbitrary, and nonsensical.
or, alternately, maturity is the true rarity.
either way, the "usual" crap/handling doesn't work on me, and hasn't since i was a teenager.
i am unmarried and childless because i was raised to make very thoughtful choices around those matters--if i chose to take that route in life at all. neither is or was central to womanhood in my family.
i have never had a problem attracting or "keeping" men, and even though i identify as a womanist/feminist, i have nothing against mothering/childbirth, as i've written about here a few times.
in my experience, needing to be right is generally a male affliction.
sure, i can get hormonal, but i KNOW when i am and will tell you (my moods don't swing anything like they used to anyway).
i do not covet, enjoy, like or entertain drama. i watch it on tv.
black men--or men in general, for that matter--are not my enemy and i do not treat them as such.
i know my shit, i've worked on a lot of it, and i'm willing to keep working on it if/when necessary. i expect the same of my partners.
so i really don't know what to tell you. either there are a lot of children out there masquerading as grown folk, or y'all know some really interesting people.
*for the record, i rather enjoy very smart brothas. i am NOT a fan of tubman--whether he's serious or not. he's a defcon 1 level tkon associate, obviously
6 comments:
Um I read Tubman's post. No offense to Pisces, but a lot of them have pyschological issues. His post had Pisces all over it. Then I read this post by him, http://chillin-in-the-tub.blogspot.com/2008/12/5-honest-things-i-have-to-tell-about.html . It explained all the anger towards Black woman and why he think we all hate Black men.
Wait, that link did not work, http://chillin-in-the-tub.blogspot.com/2008/12/5-honest-things-i-have-to-tell-about.html . I cant even hate on him. He looks like he has been hurt.
interesting you'd say that about pisces people. being a pisces who's dealt with a couple of pisces guys (dealing w/ one now...lol), i think that all the sensitivities that can come with our sign are not generally nurtured in men in this culture, and most definitely not in many black men. so, often, their gifts for spirituality, empathy, etc turn in on them.
he's definitely got some hard wired gender role stuff going on, that's for sure. but, as a potential sexologist, it's the dudes like him that i'd LOVE to balance out. *grin*
I have had a relationship with a Pisces. Yes,they are very spiritual but quite wacky in relationships blaming a lot on women. They dont step out of their word to see the whole picture.
I could only stand to be in his blog for a split second or two...and I'm a gemini but I love Pisces men because the (good ones) tend to bring out an emotional side of me that is often hidden under my analytical side...I think it really hurts to see Black men who consider themselves conscious speaking/writing like this versus those who tend to have a more american-ized view of how Black women are or should be...it's very upsetting. I don't think of Black men as a whole when I hear stereotypes about relationships failing, etc..etc...I hate that issues our men have with women in general is always characterized as being rooted in our "Blackness" to me, that's racism turned inwards and directed towards their very reflection.....
well said, cheron.
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