between heaven and earth

i feel like i can't breathe...

my antennae are up, and the heat's swirling around my head again.

i feel like i need to sing, dance...use my body. writing it out isn't enough.

i've been back at home for a few hours. sometimes this space feels too full of memories and yet-to-be's to be comfortable anymore.

...that probably means it's time to call out some things and smudge the entire place.

the neighborhood negroes are still setting off firecrackers, some of which sound more like pipe bombs. i also had to kill a spider solo earlier, which always puts me on edge.

part of me wants to force myself to sleep, but i know i'm not that tired. i'd be up again at 3am, stir crazy.

i can't sit still long enough to watch my dvds (just started season 3 of the wire...).

i'm doing some half assed web surfing, but that's not satisfying, either.

if i had some money, i'd go out...but then again, i'd also probably drink too much than is good for me, trying to work myself into a socially acceptable trance.

eventually i'll probably get a headache, light a ton of candles, and fall asleep out of sheer frustration.

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