6.26.2006

blues

the weekend was slightly annoying.
and wet.

honey was off somewhere playing emcee while i was either bored, uncomfortable, or just plain lonely.

i'm still stalled creatively.

i wrote a prayer that i meant to take to the river when i went to odunde, but we didn't make it to the procession. instead, i put the prayer with oshun's things, fully intending to do the work at home...now i can't even remember to light the candle...my other altar's remained dark for god knows how long.

i feel like i'm being held back, and i don't quite know how, why, or by what.

i'm gonna have to rewrite that prayer. or, even better, write down my fears/obstacles and get those out of the way first. then go back to that prayer.

i need to blow off some steam. but i feel like i have no outlets whatsoever.

what the hell is wrong with me?

this will probably all pass once my cycle starts. it usually does.

then again, maybe not. who knows. i really can't even articulate what the hell's going on with me lately. i just know i want to feel normal again. happy. myself. something.

at least i cooked dinner...

1 comment:

saltwater taffy said...

vow breaker/obstacle remover

Maferefun Oludumare
Maferefun Egungun
Maferefun Eshu—opener of all roads & Divine Messenger
Maferefun Yemonja—owner of healing, primordial waters
Maferefun Oshun—bringer of prosperity and sweetness
Maferefun Ogun—Divine Warrior Spirit

I rescind any and all vows & contracts I have taken, anyone in this body has taken, and anyone within my genetic lineage has taken pertaining to:
• Going to sleep and forgetting who I am
• Participating with limitation
• Making limitation Real
• Not following Spirit
• Not trusting the movement of Spirit
• Denying karmic interaction
• Resisting Divinity, Infinity, and Ecstasy
• Resisting communion with Spirit
• Resisting full embodiment of Spirit
• Parasites, fungi, bacteria, microbes, mycoplasma and/or anything else which feeds upon my bodies or beingness which are not in alignment with my highest good...
• Vows to ignore a given chakra or body
• Denying the mastery of myself or others
• Denying the sovereignty of myself or others

I now declare these vows & contracts null and void in this incarnation and all incarnations across space and time, all parallel realities, parallel universes, alternate realities, alternate universes, all planetary systems, all source systems, all dimensions and the Void.

Spirit, please release all structures, devices, entities, orientations or effects associated with these vows & contracts. NOW!

In addition, I ask for the removal of any and all obstacles that prevent me from
• Becoming and Being my Highest Self.
• Accepting my full power—personally, creatively, spiritually, and in any other way I or others hold me back.
• Achieving bliss, contentment, and fulfillment in my current relationship.
• Revealing and accepting ALL of my gifts/talents/abilities.
• OVERCOMING FEAR of myself and of others who can help me reach my highest level of good.
• Overcoming creative blockages.
• Having a working, abundantly equipped computer at home so I can do my work at my own pace and in my own time.
• Meeting and developing friendships with people who can aid me in becoming my highest self—in other words, finding/building my “pack”/community.
• Having a stable, abundant career that makes me happy & intellectually fulfilled and contributes to the happiness/bliss/health/well-being of others.
• Making my peace with the (mental/physical/spiritual) loss of the immediate presence of [him] in a holistic, positive, and peaceful manner. And/or redefining our relationship in a way that empowers us both instead of continuing a cycle of pain and frustration.
• Owning a home that is structurally abundant in addition to being able to accommodate myself, my loves, my dreams, and my plans.
• Financial stability and growth.
• Spiritual stability and growth.
…and any other obstacles that I haven’t named that threaten the fullest expression of myself and my bliss.

In all these things I ask for the guidance and protection of the ancestors, benevolent/elevated spirits, and the Orisha who rule my Ori.

Ashe, Ashe, Ashe-oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!