laboring

in response to my last blog, the lovely ms. oyin sent me a quote:

do you love who you want to be enough to give up who you are?

i believe i may have finally reached that point.

the lack of fulfillment in my life is staggering. and i refuse to accept it any longer.

thankfully i am aware of the abundance around me. i feel beautiful and loved--even if my relationship isn't pleasing to me at the moment. i still feel whole, secure, and safe in the knowledge that i am on the right path.

i've taken to listening to my inner aspects...there's quite a dialogue going on.

the fearless bitch goddess says to run/leap/jump/swim to freedom, by any means necessary. take no prisoners, and claw anyone who gets in the way.

the compassionate mother goddess wants to make sure that everyone's taken care of and smiling--even if a farewell is imminent.

the love goddess wants to adorn and pamper herself, find someone to hold, touch, and stroke her curves. she's tired of fleeting encounters between too-short visits. she reminds me that being desired is nice, but it's even nicer to have desire envelop you, to want to want. it's been a long time.

the water woman stands ready to wash me clean any time i feel i need it. she keeps all kinds of potions and magic ready for me, and conspires with the honey-woman to make me feel good.

the earth lady begs me to walk barefoot in the grass, let the sun kiss me, embrace the rain, and listen to the lessons in the thunder. she reminds me that she's always there to ground and balance me, and that i don't have to be so worried about falling--she's more than willing to catch me.

it's not an easy time, but it's an exciting one.
the pains will pass and i'll be left with the joy. isn't that how it goes?

ashe.