womb talk

i am so fking frustrated...

i mean, i suppose that there's some witchy-woman way to harness the ashe of pms or whatever, but more often than not i just find myself feeling completely off my square. often at times when i most need to be level-headed.

thankfully, i don't get the mood swings i used to. my cramps aren't as bad (most of the time. there are flare-ups), and the actual shedding doesn't last quite as long. i credit giving up the pill and vegetarianism.

however, i still get bloated (clothes don't fit right...), generally irritable, and mentally fuzzy. my energy level plummets, i can't stop eating, and getting comfortable enough to sleep? forget it.

it doesn't help that it's exceedingly difficult to wake up in this state. i go into very deep sleeps and have dreams that are more like boulders i have to crawl out from under when the alarm clock goes off.

i do not have time for this. i wish i'd looked at the calendar more closely when i scheduled the date for this damn exam. i was just concerned about interfering with (a) my birthday and (b) that damn mercury retrograde. forgot about my uterus.

after i went off the pill, i noticed that my cycle regulated itself to the phases of the moon, something i considered to be complete hooey before it happened to me.

years ago, i ran with the full moon. then there seemed to be a period where i could never really tell what was going to happen. i started getting the symptoms (headaches, bloating, etc.) a full week before the acutal event, so that really threw me off.

in the last few months--i finally started paying attention--i've been moving with the new moon. like clockwork. strangely enough, breast tenderness has once again entered the arena. that hasn't been a monthly problem for years--probably not since adolescence.

still, i'll probably be right as rain by tomorrow, and maybe some of the information i need desperately to stick to the front of my brain really is there and i will pass with flying colors.

here's to hoping.