thanks to a couple of dope ass sistren i have the pleasure of knowing, i've become part of an email chain of folks immersed in african spiritual tradition...
as i was responding to a set of emails making the rounds this morning, i recalled one of my childhood "things".
i remember always understanding that if i asked for something, i would get it. if i formed a clear thought with pure intention and importance, it manifested itself. sometimes quietly, sometimes with a lot of fanfare.
i was always afraid to tell anyone because i thought that if i said something, i'd lose it. there were certain friends i would talk to about it, but for the most part, it was a closely guarded secret. something i only used when i really needed it.
on the other hand, it gave me an unusual confidence in the idea that there was, indeed, a god listening to me and i, somehow, had his/her ear. it reinforced the intuition that there was an army behind me, always. watchful and loving. and if that were true for me, then it had to be true for everyone else, too. whether they realized it or not.
now, as a woman coming into more of an understanding of who she is, i realize that that was just part of my magic. of all our magic. plenty of people have gotten rich talking about the power of positive thinking and using visualization techniques in therapy, but we--and by "we" i mean the spirit-centered cultures of the world--have always understood these things.
that's why words have power.
that's why right speech and right intention are part of the heart of buddhism.
that's why the evil eye--a simple look--can kill.
i've learned that just by virtue of having a womb, my thoughts and feelings take on a new level of power and tangibility. i am charged with the creation of the physical as well as the idealistic.
one of the most powerfully simple and woefully complex tenets in buddhist thought is the idea of "child-mind"...releasing your limitations and thinking as a child would. try everything. anything's possible.
when jesus speaks of having the mind of a child, same thing.
in my quest to get back home--spiritually, professionally, and otherwise--i try to put myself back in my bedroom, staring at the ceiling, talking aloud to god and knowing i'm being heard.