go get you a white boy...yeah. that'll show 'em!

found two interesting videos today...

video 1
from this sista





video 2
from this sista {no audio}




obviously, there's a lot that could be said about either of these. this is a multi-layered topic within the black community, and there's no one way to discuss, handle, or delineate the issue. not to mention that the other extreme has to be put on blast as well.

my main questions are: what are the age groups involved and where are these women from? video 1 obviously featured an urban setting, but were the sistas featured raised in the suburbs and shocked by urban culture later on? not apologizing for bad behavior, just wondering.

i came of age in the 90s in what i like to call the "upper south". yes, there were always thuggish boys around, and the "mob mentality" could indeed take over, as one of the sistas on video 1 mentions. i've most certainly been catcalled, eye-fked, etc. i've gone through the baggy clothes phase.

however, we were not hearing about our peers getting beaten and killed because of a refusal to give a phone number. most boys, when you got them one on one, knew how to act.

this phenomenon speaks to a myriad of issues, not just black men* being inherently "bad" or "less than".

if you can't take that level of basic rejection, you have a problem with self esteem.

there is a problem understanding appropriate emotional response, which suggests that your emotional world is in turmoil--often the case with teenagers, but grown ass men who are still disrespectful on this level are, indeed, pretty low.

there is a problem with love. namely, a young man who would act this way has probably never really seen or experienced it in any healthy, real way.

i'm going to guess that the sistas who posted these videos are no longer teens. beatmewithanapple's reactions seem to be almost pure knee-jerk, with no real examination of what's going on behind the violence and misogyny.

i would venture to say that black american/white american dating for anyone over the age of 25 (maybe even as far as 20)** requires a level of conscious thought, awareness of historical and present socioeconomic and psychological conditions and self-awareness that a whole lot of folk do not possess. if we did, we wouldn't still be handling things like government and policy the way we do. one only needs to revisit the venom stirred up by the mccain/palin campaign to see that.

so...yes, we should protect ourselves. violence against women is a serious problem and should be stopped. immediately. everywhere.

the real men in all communities need to stand up and get in their brothers' asses. seriously.

but, honestly? we all need to go in with eyes open. heal within, then seek love. loving the "other" 'cause you're pissed at your own isn't going to get you the results you want, either.



*boys, really. anyone walking around looking like the "examples" in video 2 are probably under the age of 30 or devoted to a life of crime...which would be undesirable in any man, regardless.

**i realize that anyone younger than that has probably grown up with a different worldview and has parents from a different generation. their perspective on those matters is probably far removed from my own, so i can't really speak to it.