it's a strange thing...i've never felt this discouraged and encouraged at the same time.

while the state of my personal economy is less than optimal--way less. in part because they keep playing games with people's utilities--i do feel like i'm on the right path.

there's evidence that what i'm dreaming up and producing has merit and worth, and i should keep at it.

attending my brother's graduation was equal parts inspiration and anxiety-producing. while i'm really not sure if i have the stomach for school, i know getting that paper is the only way i can really be taken seriously doing the work i seem to need to do.

i'm also wondering about different spiritual systems and paths and how they may need to factor into this journey. while i have no intention of abandoning the path of my ancestors, i'm also being led down several other roads--ones i haven't walked for centuries and may have difficulty retreading.

i suppose it doesn't matter; i've started anyway. the next step is to state my intention. after that, what i need will find its way to me.

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