it was a stressful and exhausting day. all i wanted to do was come home, smoke a clove, have a ginormous cup of chamomile tea, and go to bed.

i decided to walk while i smoked. i crossed the park near my house and remembered that there is a small stream just beyond it.

i had forgotten that yeye rests in my backyard.

i stood on the small bridge, puffing away, feeling tight, pressured.

but it's difficult to feel constricted in the presence of water.

so i relaxed a little, and i listened. the voices come easier these days...the almost constant writing and relative quiet have helped tremendously.

she gently explained what i should do when i came home. how to prepare my tea. what incense to burn. what offerings to put where. i didn't want to leave the stream, but she insisted. i needed to go home and take care. rest. forget about dinner and just drink my tea, apple juice, and water instead.

i cannot say that i left completely at peace, but it did put me in mind of my recent dreams and their messages: that the healing will take place because i know no other way to be. that bitterness cannot take root in a honey-child--at least not without a lot of work. and of course i'm not going to put in that kind of work when i'm trying to return to my nature, not run from it.

having prayed and reflected a bit more, i realize that all i can do is continue to pray for patience, strength, and iwa pele.

If you look for me in the morning, I will be at the River
Where the feminine mystique always reigns supreme.
At the first light of day I will be at the River,
Where grace and simple beauty comes alive.
I am going to see my great great Mother-
Osun who is so full of understanding,
Osun with large and robust breasts:
The River Queen that always sits on a cool fresh throne.
I am going to see my great great Mother-
She who weaves the waters of the heavens
With the gush of springs of the earth
With the very depths of the ocean:
Osun who gives healing waters free of charge.
maferefun osun
ori yeye o


nina said...

"but it's difficult to feel constricted in the presence of water. "

yes...I agree.


"Water can carve its
way, even through stone.
And when trapped,
water makes a new path."
- Memoirs of A Geisha


This is an idea very central to me - being born under a star of Cancer and also having 'water' as the dominant elemental of my personality.

Thank you for sharing such a poignant idea.


creatrix said...

yeah i'm pretty watery myself...putting myself in the way of that element is always a healing experience.