got another man question on my mind.
a recent conversation had me wondering: why is it that so many of our men don't understand that they can't have it both ways?
you cannot remain a child and shoulder the responsibilities of a man.
you cannot beg and plead for a woman to help you bear a legacy and not understand the importance and necessity or providing for said legacy.
the need for stability, a touch of ambition, and the realization of it being possible to do bad by one's self has been the death knoll for more than one black love affair.
is this an across-the-board thing, or is it just us?
is it just another example of how our mentalities have not quite begun to gel with the current state of the nation/economy/world?
it's not enough to just "get by" anymore. we're standing on quicksand in a lot of respects, and we need to be prepared. there need to be some foundations laid.
land/houses need to be owned.
finances need to be in order.
like it or not, we gotta get in overdrive, yesterday.
finish that degree, or find a trade.
how are you gonna finance the education & networking you'll need to succeed as an entrepreneur?
if you're 30+, that recording contract might not be coming.
where's the money coming from for that community organization you're dreaming of building?
you might have to suck up your revolutionary leanings--in the sense of counting on them to put food on the table--and let go of that under-the-table gig that puts a little cash in your pocket. just for a year or so, you may have to sit in somebody's office and be bored to death with the rest of us.
you think sistas like being "successful"? it grates on us just as much as it does you, grinnin in the face of the man or ms. lucy every day. but we've got babies--your babies--to provide for.
if you and yours have determined that the lifestyle of activism and literal struggle is the one for you, i admire the the hell outta that. but many of us need to know that we're going to be set up with the basics: good food, a decent, independent living space, respectable clothing, and healthcare. and that goes up about one million notches when we have children to think of.
i'm not saying you have to buy into the system completely. i'm not saying you have to chase the so-called american dream or rack up a gazillion dollars in credit card debt to keep up with the johnsons.
but until we can (a) go back to africa & rebuild en masse, (b) buy up a ton of land and create quasi-utopias a la oyotunji, or (c) get the money, power, and prestige to change the game, we're here.
you don't have to play by ALL the rules, but you might wanna start thinking long and hard about which ones are worth breaking and which ones you're gonna have to swallow. keep volunteering, keep dreaming, keep struggling for the people--but make sure you're also getting (legally & regularly) paid.
your life outside the 9-5 can be the balm of gilead. but you gotta put in work.