8.09.2007

yeah, so...

the hair might have to go.

gotta get some "before" pics first...or maybe not.

the idea scares me. my hair's never been as short as it will be if/when i take some scissors to it. even when i first went natural i grew it out so i had a nice sized 'fro first.

i love my hair. it's beautiful. i'd always wanted locs and i was proud of myself for making the commitment and experiencing the journey. i am fairly convinced that i will loc my hair again in the future.

even so, i can't ignore the energy factor here. that whole area of my body feels almost...heavy, loaded. conflicted, in a sense. there's something underneath all this hair and all these memories that's trying to break loose.

there's a deep, nagging need for liberation, freedom--and it's not just related to the job and the writer's block and all of that.

i need to let go.

it's entirely possible that in order to begin the rebirth i've been moving towards, i have to physically take the first step, by my own hand.




mantra: it will grow back.

5 comments:

mindful said...

:-) I hope the journey is a great one for you.

oyadé said...

you & your hair will grow in the goddess during the process of rebirth. may your journey be one that edifies you. ashé-ooooooooooooo!!!!

sugar rush said...

thanks for the support, guys.

well, this cold/allergy/whatever is still kickin my ass, so back to bed for now...

PretaMulatta said...

it WILL grow back. i went from having elbow length hair my entire life 2 something shorter than anita baker in one fell swoop... and 4 the first time in my life, people looked at me and SAW ME. it wasnt about them, it was about ME.

try an herbal rinse for the orixas of the forest & see if that doesnt make your decision any clearer. my mae de santo had me crush some rosemary into some sweet water (spring) and pour it over me 4 oxossi & that made a LOT of my ways clear from that rinse on...

best of luck.

sugar rush said...

lol...girl i done rinsed, bathed, taken spiritual baths from my godmother, etc. and so on.

when i first started feeling this way, i thought it was just the hormones talking.

now the hormones are long gone, and i'm still longing for the scissors.

i know my hair is a shield--and it's always been long, too. i suppose that's another reason i feel like it may be time.