the breakthrough

(...thank god for mary j blige albums. can i get a witness?)

anyway.

i'm trying to put it all together right now. all the pieces, all the emotions, everything. get my bearings.

i feel stronger already. no less lost, but stronger. more resolved.

i think that i'm going to have to get back to the art of toenail painting.
i will also need more toe rings. things that sparkle.

i'm going back to sacred woman to see if there's a gateway i need to move through to get past all this...i don't know if there's a creativity element. opening to spirit might have some useful chakra work i can benefit from, though. i might have to pick up the artist's way again, but...i'm not sure i feel like going there just yet.

basically, i want to break out of my rut. shatter it, really.

last night i gave in to a bit of self-loathing. it's good to do that occasionally. i ate a whole pizza (yeah. i know), had some chocolate. smoked 1.5 cloves.

i eeked out a really rough poem. and another letter.

later she wrote...