stuck.

well i did get a chance to reread the book last night.

helpful, as always. i need to take it more to heart, though.

i know i'm moving forward. i have to remind myself to respect my pace.

things are chugging along with the massage certification. but...it just doesn't feel like enough.

e.g....this house thing. i am soooo intimidated by all the information and all the time it takes to find all the information and making sure i don't get screwed and etc. and so forth. normally research doesn't bother me, but with all the other crap i have in my head, taking on another phantom project just feels like too much.

i have to keep one thing on my brain at a time in order to make everything else work.

i think that after i get this other expensive ass exam out of the way, i'll go ahead and start thinking about that. right now, if i put any $$ to the side, it's gonna be for that.

i still need to get the house the way i want it.
i can't stand this creative stall anymore.
i want to take pictures. i have to try again with the camera card.
my wanderlust is acting up.
i need to budget. like, seriously.

i'm at one of those points where i need some space to allow my dreams/thoughts to grow and make something of themselves. sitting here all damn day sucks the life outta me when i feel that way. by the time i steel myself to deal with this nonsense, i'm too worn to deal with my work (from the book...and many other books on my shelf these days. i need to remember to use that terminology more often).

it's like...there's a junkpile in my brain, but it's not a junkpile. it's full of gold, silver and all kinds of jewels & other pretty things. but it needs to be sorted out, polished, and put in its proper place before i can use it.

the ordinary is magic.
magic is in the ordinary.

have to remember that, too. that's probably going to be my new mantra over the next few months.