12.15.2005

real talk

from a convo with a friend who enjoys kicking my ass when i need it...(thank heaven). it's been edited for typos and some clarity, but nothing else.

i'm posting this for everyone who may be in the same boat i am. if you don't have a friend of similar persuasion, print it out. put it somewhere. tack it to your forehead.

hell, i know it's not easy. if it were that easy, i wouldn't have to have read-heard this speech right along with you. i'm trying to convince myself, too.

but if you can sense your impending implosion like i can, which one is worse? seriously.


this is what i've learned and i've tried to get this in the heads of as many people as possible: once u get paid to do what you do, it makes you really figure out if u want to keep doing it. not because money means a lot, but because you can see the value that others give to what u write. it makes it more than a hobby or therapy. it gives it another dimension and you can sometimes gauge whether or not you like that other aspect of it. u see it in a different light.

i mean i've told a few people this, and i hate to rehash this speech for you, but...here goes.

some people use drugs and stuff to enhance this experience. THIS IS IT. nothing is going to give you a better trip then living. honestly. u have 5 senses that are bringing you information.

your eyes are giving you imax, hd, trillions of colors, dozens of different spectrums.

your ears are giving you dolby 17.2 sound, in stereo with surround...no sound system invented will ever deliver that kind of quality.

you get to wake up to a new trip everyday.

no low from smoking or shooting up or whatever will ever compare to what life offers, but the flip side is no high will ever touch life's either.

this is it. you have the ability to shape, alter and create every experience you have. it's the ultimate rush. get comfortable in your skin: it's yours for the entire trip.

the last thing you want to do is be much older with the "should have", "could have", "wished i would have"...this is it. you are creating your memories every day. every sec for when you are sitting still thinking about what the next phase has to offer. that's the point.

you are damn talented--DAMN TALENTED--you don't have to deny that. you don't have to try to conform or just fit in. you shouldn't. you have that gift for a reason. you can touch people in ways just by what you write. that is power. power to bend this reality. it sounds like some sci-fi shit, but it's true.

what i'm saying you already know...you have writers who are immortal because of what they wrote. people whose [descendants] never have to lift a finger because of what they wrote before they were born..that's the truth. u know i'm not wrong. u have the tool to reshape your world.

i mean, u may not aspire to riches or whatever, but you have the ability to find a place in this world where you can be creative and where this world will reward you for that. the rewards could be never being stressed about paying a bill, not being stressed about getting up to get to a job that you dislike if you don't wanna. i mean, that's what i see your talent as.

people learn by what they read and what they see. tv and movies educate so many people on relating to each other, but those 2 forms are only possible because of writers. u r a writer. do you really get that power? not to mention when people hear a story or get an idea from a writer that shows them a new idea or way of seeing the world around them. that's power.

if u give up on that i will kick your ass.

one of the reasons y i h8 rap right now is because these people have the entire world's attenton and they are only feeding them more garbage instead of helping them.

can u imagine if 50cent said something positive?

could you imagine if you had the ability to get your views heard by a million people? that's what u have to fight for. to be heard. u have something to say.

no one feels the pain and the joy in the way that u do, but they can relate if u tell them what u went though. that helps people. that's all im sayin...i mean u do a book and one person reads it that thought they were all alone...it's comforting to feel like you are not the only one going through some of life's experiences. no one is on earth alone, but everyone is on their own. that's the reality of a lot of people. yaknow...what u do helps to bridge that gap.

do u really think human exsistence would last without the written word? we can't communicate with pictures alone. you are a WRITER, a scribe...shit...im getting frustrated over here.

1 comment:

saltwater taffy said...

and, later that afternoon, i got this from my love:

I don't have to give you the "you're good at what you do/are" speech and rant. I think it's evident by the circle of people in your sphere and also the lives and worlds you both affect and create in your art. I think of your art (writing, touch, even the way you live/study) as a whole embodiment of what that truth for you is. The truth that has people loving you through pain, the truth that to know you is to know what God would be like in a conversation over tea.

That's ART. That's the GIFT I see...and you have it. Don't put it on pause. Where's my book? I want it. I would buy 20 copies...I wouldn't think of getting one free. I want to see [my govt name] on a book one day filled with that wisdom..that gift.

We've all heard the usual "I need college to jump start my life" rant or the "Maybe you just haven't found your stroke". Why must we wait for it? Everything I've seen you write and each time you speak, I want to do nothing but go somewhere and PRAISE every god and goddess that lives because I don't have that ability...and you do.

You have the gift that many pine for and here you are...just there.

You communicate from the stars...and we with mortal ears are the benefactors.

I know you hate your job...It's not good enough but then it's also not without design. You have been thrown situations that are far larger than tangible...we know this. This thing MUST pass.

I look beyond your struggles with the world (and I realize I need to
do this for self) and say to you in the spirit "They just can't
realize how powerful you are and when they do, it will be far too late for them to benefit".

The challenge is YOU! YOU alone need to stop worrying if your art will help change the universe. You make galaxies erupt each time you walk, woman, so don't let those four walls contain you as if you're a sideshow animal. You are a goddess--remember this.

So what are you going to do?


i don't know what i did to deserve such love...but i know it's what will keep me going.