love/thought bursts

i am stretching in ways i could not have anticipated; new superpowers emerge daily.

i did not explicitly ask for this (or maybe i did), but i'm remaining grateful for the journey.

interestingly, i used to be completely focused on working to open my heart, to heal and accept love/loving as it arrived in my life.  i refused to let the pain overtake me or steal my joy.

today, i'm constantly aware of how heavily fortified my heart is...not from hurt and shame, but because i gave my heart to someone who dropped it.  from a very high height.

all those years of opening led to another closing; an understanding that i can only make myself available to someone with much steadier hands. until he appears, the fort has to stay in place.

it isn't ideal, but it works.        

i know precisely what i'm dancing around; i am keeping time with the music and measuring my steps.

i know loving fully and deeply again will not be easy for me, but i will face the new openings and fears when they come.

the right partner, the right loving will give me the strength.   

No comments: