10.29.2007

abbreviated autumn

(a more fleshed out version of this)

i was outside earlier, and i could smell winter.
not autumn. full blown, icy, frosty, foreboding winter.

just that fast.

a week or so ago, i could barely stand to wear long sleeves, now i'm chilled to the bone. i can almost see snow on the horizon.

my native american ancestors are stirring--always the second half of the fall sensitivities. it makes sense. there's the day of the dead, thanksgiving...

something about the colors of autumn forces them to make their presence known.

the strange thing is that i'm almost looking forward to the cold and the dark and the disappearance of the sun.

i can't remember a time when i've wanted that, not even for the sake of christmas. it's difficult for me to be cold. i don't warm up easily; it takes a multitude of hot liquids, blankets, and layers and layers of clothing.

but i think winter justifies my current obsession with quiet, peace and solitude.
i've been nesting with no promise of a baby--at least no physical one.

hopefully this means true rebirth in spring...

6 comments:

April said...

cheers and chills to winter. i'm trying to find an appreciation for the cold. solitude and quiet time are great starts

mindful said...

i love autumn and winter
my heart looks forward to these seasons each year...

here's hoping the rebirth you look for and need will definitely come during spring.

TruEssence said...

I know the feeling of just wanting to be quiet and still during the winter season. I love to burn vanilla candles and incense while cuddling up with a good book drinking something warm and soothing.
Sistren your posts are like a breath of fresh air for me!:)_

sugar rush said...

yeah i'm really trying not to think i'm some kind of weirdo...usually by this time of year, i'm depressed, shivering, and praying for another summer.

but...i'm comfortable for the most part. odd, but i'm learning to respect my rhythms.

PretaMulatta said...

once again, i read your thoughts & marvel at how they mirror my own. i've just made a silky mexican hot chocolate & thought of walking thru the park 2 catch the colors of the leaves, but i HATE being cold.
and i can sense that cold, white winter on the horizon 2...

swaddle well. swaddle tight.

sugar rush said...

mexican hot chocolate? like with cayenne in it or something? one day i'll be brave enough to go there...

i'll definitely be looking for lush sweaters, wool, and cute boots to get me thru this year...