still trudging through the "muck"...i'll be REALLY glad when i start bleeding. and that's not something i say often.
some clouds have cleared, though...gaining insight into my next steps. maybe by the end of the week, i'll feel more encouraged about this work.
there are some not-so-useful thoughts and feelings surfacing. one of the more disturbing ones is that a fully loving, enriching relationship is out of my grasp. of course it isn't. but "crap" can rear its ugly head in all sorts of ways.
i'm reminding myself that the moon is waning--a great time to get the lies out and push them away.