6.29.2010

marching on

still trudging through the "muck"...i'll be REALLY glad when i start bleeding. and that's not something i say often.

some clouds have cleared, though...gaining insight into my next steps. maybe by the end of the week, i'll feel more encouraged about this work.

there are some not-so-useful thoughts and feelings surfacing.  one of the more disturbing ones is that a fully loving, enriching relationship is out of my grasp. of course it isn't. but "crap" can rear its ugly head in all sorts of ways.

i'm reminding myself that the moon is waning--a great time to get the lies out and push them away.

3 comments:

revolutionaryandjoyful said...

"there are some not-so-useful thoughts and feelings surfacing. one of the more disturbing ones is that a fully loving, enriching relationship is out of my grasp."

I get those thoughts too. But in my case I think they come from a very rational place. How many men are out there who want a childfree, activist, stable, intentional living lifestyle? I haven't met any.

But all I can do is keep positive because I have no interest in settling.

And I liked how you described the thoughts as "not-so-useful." They don't offer anything positive.

sugar sista said...

yeah, it's been an interesting few weeks...hoping that this new moon energy hits a sort of "reset" button.

and i think those men exist. when i'm in my more holistic mind, i understand that if i exist, so does "he". or several "hes".

i think that applies to everyone.

the caveat might be that, depending on what you need/want, you might have to wait until a particular time in life to find your ideal mate. i don't know how old you are, but my mother's often told me that i probably wasn't meant to be a blushing bride of 20 or 25...

wisemath said...

Peace,

I feel you on that whole "not-so-useful" thoughts. STRENGTH TO YOU for your honest words and candor. It is really necessary.

PEACE