guys & gals...

just stumbled across this interesting little article...figured i'd offer my own commentary.

8 Things She Hates About You
By Lisa Jones, Men's Health


ANNOYANCE #1

You don't pick up after yourself at our place.

yeah, that's pretty standard. ha.


ANNOYANCE #2

You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs...

…yet conveniently don't mention your sportsbook.com account or the $200 you lost on the NCAA parlay. Until we're sharing a bank account with you, we're not all that interested in your opinions on how we should or should not spend our money.

hmm...i never really experienced this one, but i definitely agree that unless your name's on the lease or there's a marriage license somewhere with my name on it, the finances are pretty much individual business--and if, within marriage, we decide on two individual accounts with one joint account, then that individual account is my business, too.

moving on...


ANNOYANCE #3

You talk to us as if we're one of the guys.

...this isn't too much of a problem for me. i like it when a man feels comfortable enough around me to not use some special "lady language"--even if i occasionally have to remind him that i do like to be sweet talked. to me, that's not an unfair trade.


ANNOYANCE #4

You speak of the future vaguely.

YES. this is a biggie. if you want me in your future, act like it. and NOT just when you're trying to save a sinking ship...

sometimes i think this is the male equivalent of "s/he should know what i'm thinking." we don't. and we will move on. tell us.



ANNOYANCE #5

You stop trying.

You have us as your wife or girlfriend. We're committed to the situation, and all is good. But pretty soon you stop trying to impress us--and we don't like that.

again, agreed. but with a caveat: bring "the woo" (as she puts it) back yourself every now & then. show him how it's done, and if he has any sense and loves you, he'll reciprocate. and always, always remember that you gotta put out the same honey--or some variation thereof--you used to wow him to keep him.

generally, men aim to please. literally & figuratively. so if you gently remind/tell them what you want/need, they'll oblige. all about give & take.


ANNOYANCE #6

You blatantly look at porn.

this doesn't bother me. feminist politics aside (...we can always analyze from that angle later, if necessary), i don't necessarily mind your usual--hetero or homo--run of the mill porn. you can even look on my computer--my parents rarely come to my house, and i don't have any kids. hell, i might watch with you if i'm in the mood. or see something i like. or learn something.

...however, if i come across your secret stash of enema fantasy videos, kids, scat, extreme sbdm, or other major fetish, we'll have some issues. or, at minimum, a looooong talk.



ANNOYANCE #7

You turn down sex.

this depends. if you do, i'll assume it's because you're stressed/tired/etc. (same reasons i wouldn't be in the mood) and that you are mature & articulate enough to say these things to me, not just grunt and roll over.

be warned, though: i am the type who will offer to rub your shoulders to get you outta that mood, which could still wind up leading to, well, you know. that's just the kinda of girl i am. *wink*

besides, if you're REALLY ignorant about it, i know how to use my fingers AND my silicone, thank you. and will do it while you're lying there. which could also result in me getting what i want. see how this works?

...oh, and all that coming in drunk and winding up a weepy mess is not applicable. i can hold my liquor, and furthermore, i don't use that as an excuse or a vessel to freely vent my emotions.



ANNOYANCE #8

You ask us out via text.

another varied issue which also might be a generational thing. never had this happen...at least not exclusively. i think that for busy folks who have jobs where they can't be on the phone for 5 hrs out of an 8 hr day or whatever, texting can be ok.

i've also never experienced the "mass text" from someone i was dating or thinking of dating...but this could also be related to the fact that, until the breakup, i'd been attached for the last 5 years.