pensées aléatoires

~i'm finding out what a gift it was to have parents devoted to making me feel loved, safe, and secure. not only that...they valued my personhood enough to allow me to become myself. and all this was done without turning me into an insufferable braggart, stuck-up shrew, or spoiled brat.

~i don't have nearly enough sex. my winter solstice present to myself will most likely be a new toy. or two.

~my current job bores me to tears. speaking of jobs, i've only really had "jobs". i have not embarked on any particular career path in my life. i think i'm getting to a point where i need that to change.

~cable knit sweaters = heaven. i also want more heavy shawls/wraps. and a new winter coat which i will probably get from a thrift store to avoid the cookie cutter effect.

~i said i was going to do some work in 5 minutes about an hour ago...

~my camera needs to become a part of my body. part of my tax return may go towards a decent analog cam and plenty of black & white film. i also have digital shots that need to be printed up.

~seen on the train: blk man with huge green rasta crown and silver studio-sized headphones. khaki burlap bag. jeans. earth-brown skin. boots. looked more new york than baltimore. i had an overwhelming desire to know who he was & where he came from.

~i'm fasting for the next solstice.

~i want the poems to come back. and the stories. i need to organize and consolidate my work. i want to stop fighting my creativity and use it instead.

~investment in more tams/crowns soon come...i'm still feeling the need to cover. i feel naked without a headwrap these days.

~i am caught between two worlds.

~my new laptop needs to be easily portable. i wanna do more work outside or at least in places like restaurants and coffeehouses. that's the energy that will keep me going. photoshop will be a must.

~i plan on getting fairly drunk friday night...probably because it'll be the last time i do so for awhile. but i still plan on cutting out most alcohol by age 30.

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