a teaching from dan smoke

from protecting the circle - aboriginal men ending violence against women

an unhealthy man is someone who hangs on to his wayward ways of youth. drinking, violence, machismo, relationship hopping and being a poor role model are some of these ways. they refuse to grow up and walk a man's path--they are still adolescents in a man's body. these 'boys' certainly don't learn from their mistakes as men. to the contrary, they will blame others for their poor behaviour. they become psychologically and morally stuck and are fearful of change and growth. these men are particularly afraid of strong women. they will deliberately seek out a woman who they can control and not a true partner. intimacy will be too scary for them.

on the other hand, an imperfect healthy man will grow up from his wayward ways. he will stop unhealthy behavior that brought him thrills, shame and confusion as a young man... he will cry, say i'm sorry and live life as if his past relatives are always watching... this man...will check in with others and himself to see if his path is a true one.