checking in...

well, i'm happy to say that the cleansing went well. for the first time in years, i'm experiencing premenstrual cramps on my left side as well as my right.

i'm also seriously considering a more vegan-ized diet. "vegan-ized" because while i want to avoid things that will impact my health/comfort, i didn't change my diet for purely political reasons--although i understand and am in line with the political, environmental, spiritual and social ramifications of my eating/food purchasing habits.

i also don't plan on avoiding products that contain eggs so much as i hope to get away from, say, omelets or mini-quiches. cheese has, for all intents and purposes, become a rare treat. i think in the last six months, i've had pizza all of twice--a huge step for me. when ordering out, i omit cheese or substitute it with a non-dairy alternative.

i'm also experiencing a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. i'm feeling restless, bored. caged in.

i promised myself that i would not leave this job until and unless it was for a true move forward--and, in this moment, i still can't say i know what i'm truly meant to be doing. which means i also don't have a plan for getting there. i'm going to have to start giving that some serious thought.

there are also all kinds of ideas and words jumping through my mind...i can't really make sense of them. the words won't form. before the sango dream earlier this week, i hadn't had any meaningful ones for almost a month.

creatively i've been stalled for some time. i don't really hope for poems or stories...i suppose because i never have time to just sit and let the ideas wash over me anymore. my journaling has slipped significantly.

i suppose this is the beginning of another skin-shedding...but i'm not sure to what end.


TruEssence said...

It's peace that your cleansing went well. We are kind of in the same space right now. I have been a vegetarian for almost two years now. I am trying to elimanate diary from my diet. Wishing you the best with your skin-shedding. I love LOVE that term for the current path you are embarking on.:)

creatrix said...

well, good luck! as a self-professed pizza addict, this transition has NOT been easy. but, i'm finding that it's usually as simple as making a choice, and most times, it's not a difficult one.

...and once i started thinking of it as "skin shedding", these shifts and transitions made a lot more sense. i suppose it's just part of my serpent "medicine".