many sundays i wind up listening to the local blk college radio station...they play gospel all day.

mostly i listen because i like the singing, the harmonies. there are songs that simply give me goosebumps. some of the testimonies are my own. growing up, i didn't hear this kind of singing in my church, so it's a treat for me.

...but, invariably, i wind up hearing something that inspires a wtf moment.

just heard "goodbye world": folks rejoicing 'cause they're goin to jesus and "won't see this world no more".


i love this world.
i think i'm supposed to love this world.
it's a miracle and a gift that i am here.

...not to mention that i don't think i ever completely lost my african sense of time. the past/present/future mingle into one. understanding of one cannot exist without an examination of them all.

we do come back--whether you wanna call it DNA or reincarnation.

no, i don't love the inequality, the pain, the suffering. i don't like that children aren't safe, that women are abused, that men are faltering under the weight of ridiculous notions of patriarchy and privilege.

but i love flowers. and sex. the ups and downs of friendships and relationships. my reflection in a mirror.

the feeling of my cat's tail on my calves. music. FOOD. the laughter of babies. masturbation. rum and tequila. massage. i love to curse and spit when necessary. i enjoy laughing, loud and often.

i'm gonna do like baby suggs and love my flesh, 'cause i don't see a reason not to.

and if that makes me a sinner, so be it.