there is so much i wish i could get off my chest right now, it's ridiculous.

i've been in the middle of a lot of conflict, a lot of emotions, and a lot of upheaval. and i'm still waiting to see where the chips will fall.

relationship...
i'm back to that donnie hathaway entry...i don't want to walk away. but i don't know how to work things out, either. i think we should just chill out for a minute, come back with a fresh perspective. but as usual, i can't get any flexibility or understanding.

sometimes i think he may feel the same way about me.

the difference is that when i bend over backwards, it's seen/felt/heard.
when he does it, he winds up a legend in his own mind. and i'm none the wiser.

i'm tired of repeating myself, beating dead horses, spinning my wheels.

something's gotta give.
is it us?
something else?

why do we keep hitting this wall?
is this really meant to be?
what's the lesson we're missing?

we can't even come to an agreement on the best route to take to resolve this thing. seems like he's got something to prove--possibly to himself--but i don't. i just want my needs met, or to be left alone if that can't happen.

i need some "me" time. breathing room.

lately it seems the only thing we have in common is the fact that we love one another. but that--in the long run--is never enough. not by itself.

job...
just found out that i might be up for a raise. so send some positive energy on that one. i sure could use it.

...but i'm still on that good 2 yr plan.


i'm overwhelmed.