feline adventures

ok. so i got a kitten monday. after years of petlessness, he's a joy. and i've never raised one on my own, so that's fun, too.

his name is oludare (o-loo-dar-ray). it means "god has judged me right/innocent". he was part of an unwanted litter, so i figure his life could have been much worse.

he is cute, affectionate, playful, and fully housetrained (without much help from me, thank u very much...i just showed him where to go, and he went. i was skeptical about that cat-claim, but it's true, ladies & gents).

he is my first cat.

he also wakes me up at 2am.

if you've never had the distinct pleasure of being awakened by something non-human tugging at your hair, you should try it sometime.

it was also fun having him think that there was some toy under the covers when i rolled over. he pounced on my backside a few times.

the little nose between my shoulderblades was kinda cute, tho.

i sprayed him with water, picked him up and put him in his bed (which he hasn't touched...probably due to the heat), all to no avail. he just kept coming back for more.

he didn't even realize he could reach the bed until yesterday.

in an effort to keep him off at least most of the time, i close my bedroom door when i leave for work in the mornings.

see, my dog used to rotate. one night in my parents' room, one night in mine, another in my brother's, and so on.

i am the lone provider for this little sweetheart.

it'd be fine if he just slept...

but i'm happy he's there.

when i got this email about a 10-yr old kenyan girl and her baby the other day, i thought it was a joke. but after a quick google, i've found that it's not.

i understand that motherhood in africa is and has always been revered and held in the highest esteem, as it should be in all places.

however, as the blogger said:

...Gladys is still a primary school girl who must stay in school. That means that she will be a better mother for her young infant if Gladys herself is allowed to GROW UP FIRST to be a WOMAN who has an education that can enable her to live an independent and dignified life.

i am not one to inflict my mores on the cultures of others. but 10 years old, menstruation or not, is a BABY.

from another angle...14-16 year olds are still quite young, but i would think it's more likely that they some say in who they chose as a partner. not to mention being more physically ready for childbirth.

those 4-6 years make a big difference.

may the ancestors protect and shield these children from any more pain.

a sort of solidarity

you know, folks wanna talk shit about women like her, but no one is born doing what she did to get by.

honestly? i could have wound up where she is. after reading a little about her background, there wasn't much need to go farther. or pass judgement. i could see what was coming.

many women have been bumped and bruised far too early in life. we carry scars we can't show and don't know how to talk about. result: a need for love, acceptance and validation, often expressed by usin what you've got to get what you want.

i often say that, had i not had the parents, family, and friends i did, my life could have taken a far different route. fortunately i was able to find myself in a overwhelmingly healthy, productive way.

but a lot of us are only one relationship or left turn away...

i don't envy her struggles or the karma she's built up over the years. but i understand her--at least to a point.

will i be buying her book? no.

but i support her struggle to redeem her womanhood.

sapphire does an excellent job of describing the fallout without the name dropping glitz.

karrine & sapphire are rather extreme sides of the same coin...but there are plenty of us who fall somewhere in the middle.

a little something from last year

it's been twilight all day.
shades of gray and shadowy breezes
threaten what little sunlight
dares to show

i feel
liquid cement walls closing in
if i try to swim out
i’ll stick
suffocate slowly
become a permanent part
of the landscape

this isn’t
of my making

scribbling rushed poems
out of an overworked hand
slivers of pain
racing down my arm
warning against my attempt
to stifle sacred transmission

phone calls and bills
forced to wait
while i institutionalize myself
with linguistic nurses and
verbal doctors
lingering in the base of my spine
making knots for my lover
to untie
but he can’t get here often enough

i fall back into myself
my dreams the staircase
i tumble down

times are hard
creativity is harder

master who
won’t stay out of my quarters
mistress who
never spares the whip

nothing i do pleases
sates
contents
i never even get a smile
just more work
more messages
more words

(c) 2005 l.a.m.