last july, i was thinking... (an unreleased draft)

yes, i am fiercely independent. even as an infant i wouldn't let my mother hold me too long before i fussed to be put down.

i enjoy trying to get somewhere on my own before i ask for help--i'm not sure why.

maybe because i've always been assured of a safety net. i know help will be there if i really, truly need it, so i don't sweat the small stuff. or cry wolf.

because my heart was broken too early.

because, somewhere in there, i'm a warrior.

because i can.

better or worse, it is who i am.

over time, i've learned that's something a woman's not supposed to be. 'cause men need to be needed, you know. if they're not being big, bad wolfy providers standing guard at the door day and night, they just don't know what to do with themselves.

to hell with tenderness, time, passion, or pleasure.

to hell with getting to know me inside out
or learning to speak my langage (and teaching me yours)
or discovering my deepest needs and desires.

i mean, sure, you'll rake the lawn and wash the dishes without being asked...and i'm not knocking that. at all.

but it goes so much deeper...

No comments: