9.12.2006

we all fall down...

i feel like it's all unraveling. and it happened so suddenly...hard to know which way is up. could be headed for a breakthrough, but it really just feels like a breakdown.

i would love to suck it up and keep it moving, but...

i don't know.
i really don't.

of course, in the grand scheme of things, this is a pebble in the river. in the long term, i'll be fine. life will go on, and everything will upright itself. the transition is what ultimately gets me.

change is very rarely a rush for me. it's more of an agonizing drag.

still...i've learned a lot and, if it truly is time to move on, then i suppose i'll do it with a better understanding of who i am and where i need to go from here.

i always thought that i was meant to be a wife, if not a mother. maybe i was wrong.

or maybe i took the wrong chance.

i'll never really know, so it's best not to speculate. that can drive you crazy.

5 comments:

PretaMulatta said...

hmmm. not clear about what's going on here, but it definitely sounds unsettling.

breathe...
breathe...
breathe...

sending peaceful energy...

creatrix said...

relationship rough patch, as usual...

i appreciate the positive vibes. and i'm trying to remember to take that deep breath a couple of times each hour...

peace & love

creatrix said...

yeah i get the "when are you..." thing sometimes too.

i always wanna say "when i'm damn well good & ready. besides, if you have a man who's really ready for me, i'd like to meet him..."

so...
yeah.

lol.

sungoddess said...

Chile... my mother harassed me for twelve years for a grandchild. I mean seriously...

I never thought it was going to happen for me, and I planned to be a wife first and a mother second... yet when it all went down, it wasn't according to plan, but I took my chance and did the damn thing anyway. I regret nothing.

Sometimes things don't work to plan but they work according to the Universe's plan. I say Ase!

creatrix said...

indeed, indeed...

i am praying for peace & clarity in the meantime.

the certainty of the plan is what's keeping me going.