my mother has always been fond of saying, "those babies didn't ask to come here". meaning, parents should never expect their children to save them. their responsibility is to raise them to the best of their ability, then allow the child his or her own life.
it is one of the most important lessons she has taught me.
children should not be used to correct your frustrations, only the last generation's mistakes. they are not (always) you incarnate. and if they appear to be, it is to teach you a lesson. i don't believe it is necessary to force their roundness into the square peg you should have fit.
our babies can only save us if we allow them the freedom to become their own unique selves.
the man of the house is never your 10 year old.
we have to find a better way to handle the fracturing of our families.
how many times have you witnessed a situation where everything's all good until a child begins to assert herself...and if she's not precisely what we groomed her to be, we reject her. no one bothered to take the time to see who she was, what she wanted. and, sometimes, she hasn't allowed herself to know, for fear of that rejection. only to have it happen anyway.
one glimmer of promise, and common sense goes out the window.
expect the best, yes. discipline, certainly. but do not forget balance.
you did not give birth to a protegee. a protegee comes to you of her own free will once she has decided what it is she wants to be in life.
you gave birth to a human being who has her own role and purpose to fulfill in this life, a role that one day will take her beyond being your baby.
nurture her in the world you make for her, but learn to let her go. be there when she falls, but don't cover her in padding so she's numb to the pain.
yeah...i can hear you now. "you don't have any babies...what do you know?"
ok.
but if/when i do, i can only teach them what i've been taught.
and this is one lesson i plan on passing on.
No comments:
Post a Comment