thoughts on (various different kinds of) hunger

(penned 8/14/04)

stuck on broke
drivin on E
tryin to make it thru
just one more trip
to the market
'cause a sista's gotta eat

maybe i need some kinda
shaolin monk martial arts diet
make a meal outta air & sunlight
like an indian guru

but i ain't that slick

tired of righteous living
lockeed martin's hirin'
why not kill a few babies
to get some healthcare
job security
and a close to living wage?

too bad
i'm allergic to babylon

scribblin in this notebook
isn't gonna make me dinner

bout to take my last $20 and
go to the farmer's market
with a prayer
go raw foodist overnight
pretend i'm performing a cleansing
pull a scarlett
and refuse to go hungry
ever again

is it mandatory
that poets experience
instability and pain and
pay twice the dues?

but my day's on its way...
(c) 2004 l.a.m.

pseudonym

my silence will not save me.

stuck between
rocky shores and
ancestral hard places
i'm standing
waiting for someone
to give me a voice

waiting for someone
to shout for me
because i'm a lady
and cannot raise my voice
with dignity

if i forego obsolete conclusions
and shout
i lose 98%
of my femininity

someone should have told me that
before i learned to
praise my
own name

like he does

(and not only in bed)

(c) 2004 l.a.m.

love's shadow

Declaration:
I trust You.
I trust my path.
I trust myself.
I trust Universal Law.
I trust Nature.
I trust in Love, Peace, & Joy. I trust in my ability to manifest these things in my life.
I trust that I am Blessed.
I trust that everything I need will be provided for me.
I trust the Divinity within and the abundance of the Universe.
I trust that my prayers are heard and that the Creator knows my heart.
I trust my gifts.
I trust in the power of my Being.

As it is
So shall it be done.

Ashe
Ashe
Ashe

i wrote that somewhere inbetween all the other thoughts i was trying to get down and work out. things i've been trying to work out for months now.

i had a lot to think about last night...i still have a lot to think about today.

i'm hoping that maybe if i let go and truly allow myself to trust in these things, everything else will fall into place.

i read the song of songs before i went to sleep last night. i was trying to keep in mind the beauty of love, not all the dark things it can bring out of people.

i've always liked that book of the bible, 'cause it seemed like it shouldn't have been there. my jaw dropped the first time i read it...

i don't dig how people are always trying to make it into a god/israel thing. why not take this as literally as everything else?

the sensuality of it alone--the myrrh, honey, flowers--is wonderful.

verse 5, chapter 6 made me think:

I opened for my lover,
but my lover had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.

been feeling like that a lot lately.

you know, i started this entry in the spirit of negativity...and in a assbackwards way at that.

i'm glad i turned it into this instead.