anonymity

there's a woman i see outside my window at work.

she's out there around the same time every day.

she walks around a lot...i can't tell whether she's talking to herself or not. she has different clothes on every day, so i don't think she's homeless.

she seems to be waiting for a bus, but it must be one that doesn't come very often, 'cause i also see several pass her by.

sometimes she'll walk away and come back. today she seems to have some focus. other days she seems very lost...as if someone disappeared near that bus stop & she comes back every day to search for them.

i never consciously look for her, but find myself looking down and there she is...i've trained myself without realizing it.

strangely, i can't really tell how long she stays out there. i'll look & she's there, i'll look some time later, she's gone. the next day, she's back again.

watching her reminds me of the day an old man walked past me...he seemed so alone i almost ran up to him and hugged him. i knew i couldn't do that, so then i felt like crying...

sometimes it's difficult not being able to express to someone that you understand, that you feel their pain. especially when, from all appearances, you don't seem like you would at all.