fire in the hole...

someone's storage area caught fire in the basement of my apartment building.

*sigh*

aside from the soot stains on the roman blinds in my bedroom and the smoke smell, there was no damage...my door's a little jacked up from the firemen coming in, but they'll be fixing that shortly.

i'm thankful it wasn't worse. having a little housecleaning to do is nothing compared to coming home to a smoking hole.

ashe.

it kinda sucks when

ppl are walking around with spirits and ancestors trailing so obviously behind them
and i can't say anything

like...just now i kind of focused in on some energy around this dude's jacket. when he came back in my office, there was a rush....i'm thinking, there is someone with this man. and s/he wants to say something...

but you know
i'm at work and stuff
and that ain't really proper and all...

this spiritual training is gonna whup my ass.

but in a good way.

today i am grateful for strength and clear pathways. maferefun ogun

Ko Sohun Tole Se Ko Ma Lomi- O

(nothing without water)

it's amazing what a bath can do...
i feel much more human today.

still don't really feel like working, but hey...*shrug*. gotta eat somehow, right?

lot to do this weekend....and i'm sure i'll have more stories to tell once it's all said & done.

but for right now, y'all have a good weekend, chill out, enjoy the weather (hopefully it's supposed to be nice where you are), and i'll see you on the other side.

peace.

today i am grateful for lavender oil & sweet thoughts

at the tone, please leave a message...

i'm so not here today...can't focus...

not that there's a whole lot to do. i've pretty much cleared my plate. and now i'm waiting for the other folks around here to do what they need to do on their end...bleh.

i'm just...somewhere else.

i wanna go back home and go to sleep. i keep wondering if my eyes are half closed...

ah well
fk it.

just a couple more days in the week...

go read this. and this.

n. wolfe & ashland streets, fall 2006*

he stood
in uniform
(black jacket, blue jeans, che guevara-style pseudo revolutionary cap)
at the chain link gates
of the new emerald city

brown skinned ogun
stripped of his machete
probably remembering
former territory
grandma's house
maybe auntie's kitchen
or where he & his boys played playstation
back in 90something
during christmas break

standing between
pulverized history
and a brave new world
that doesn't necessarily exclude him
but ain't sendin
hospitality committees
either.

(c) l.a.m. 2006


*note: johns hopkins has torn down several blocks of homes in the area known as "middle east" to make room for parking lots, a new biotech complex, and housing and services for its employees. the first phase of this project is underway. many blocks have been leveled, and there are several more marked for destruction.

there has been a massive relocation effort which has been handled better than in most cities where this kind of development occurs. still, when i see people like this man on the street, frozen by what they see--or memories of what they used to see--around them, i think about all the history and memories the rubble has buried.

i'm tired.

really tired.
i think i feel a 3-day weekend coming on...

i don't wanna take monday off, but...whatever.

i think i just need some time to commune with my own thoughts so i can get my shit together, you know?

this place is so not conducive to that.
trying to cram it in to the few hours between getting home from work and needing to go to sleep so i can roll myself out of bed to get back to work in the morning isn't working either.

the weather isn't helping...

i miss him soooo much.

and all that other yin yang.

i need a beach
with turquoise water
and white sand

on some "calgon, take me away" type shit (yeah i know i'm showin my age...)

time to go scan some bullshit for a project that i care nothing about...

i wish i at least had an office to myself so i could blast music...i like the broad & all. i just want some space.

and maybe a gig where i don't feel like i have 20+ kids.

no, i'm not planning on cutting my hair

thank you very much.

if i choose to let it get long enough to tickle my ankles as i walk, so be it.

i think i'll be content to let it sway with my hips when it reaches my waist. that will probably happen in another year or so.

we'll see.

still...why are ppl so concerned about how long i might (or might not) allow my hair to grow?

often i hear...
so...when are you gonna cut it?
thinking about cutting it?
isn't it heavy?
those things are getting long, aren't they?
are you gonna look like oneathose rasta women or something?

and so on.

of course they can't know that as a child, my hair was pretty much the length it is now. so, honestly, it's back to its original state. i've always had a lot of hair, and i'm used to it. this mane on my head is a big part of my natural state of mind/being/spirit.

yes, india, i am (to some degree) my hair.
but it is not a yardstick i use to judge others.

and i'll cut it--IF i cut it--when i damn well please.
or not.

*grin*

oneademdays

i'm really not feelin this (i.e., work).
at all.

but at least i grabbed a long-term meter this morning.
and got paid.

i want something good for lunch...

i need to stop eating so much @#&$*! dairy.

my chocolate addiction has returned. but it's probably just the hormones.

this period of inactivity must end. i think i've incubated long enough. time to go into labor...

you know, i spent the first few weeks of my life in an incubator. sometimes i wonder if that's why it takes so long for me to initiate certain levels of change in my life. i always have to make sure i'm "ready".

ok. now i'm just rambling.

i do need to get moving, though.

today...

i am grateful for 6-yr-olds
newborn babies
free parking spaces
and the microsoft word color palette

spontaneous drink-mixing
weekends full of late nights
creative energy
and books like these

kids say the darndest things

so my godson is staying with me for a few days while his mom recouperates from his little brother's birth (they practically had to yank that kid out...damn shame is what it is).

last night he says, "you only know about different kinds of foods. you don't know how to make a sandwich"

...not that i made him a sandwich. i suppose he just thinks my meals are a little too elaborate. lol. not that he ate my cooking, either. i made some collards, mac & cheese, and baked tofu, but we both ate pizza since all that wasn't going to be ready before his bedtime.

besides, he's not a fan of tofu. i promised him spaghetti and broccoli (please note: he likes broccoli--but not vegetables) for dinner tonight. but it's practically a given that he'll get curious and delve into my plate at least once during a meal.

kids are cool.

still...i don't think i'll be ready for motherhood for another 3-5 years.
at a minimum. lol.

really quickly...

i'll have a new godson by the end of the weekend.

my sweetie's coming home...only for a couple of days, but that's better than nothing.

i'm writing a little, but nothing too deep...

been mourning my freedom. now i need to go about reclaiming it.